Lost
by MyHappinessExpires
Summary: There were only two people Rin could trust and tell his every heartbreaking secret too; his father, Shiro, and twin brother, Yukio. So when he overheard them talking about him and his true nature, he slowly started breaking, losing himself, and changing. He got stuck in a whole other mess, one he wouldn't dare try involving others in. AU-ish.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone! This is my first time writing something for Blue Exorcist so I'm pretty excited. :) Anyways, tell me if you guys would like me to continue this or not, I'll be trying to uploading the story weekly, mostly during weekends, however, if I can, I'll do so sooner. I have 5 chapters written out, so that should make things faster. ^^**

 **Summary: Rin didn't mean to eavesdrop that night, but he was only a child, no more than seven years old. And yet, this slight event had only made his life a complete mess. A mess he didn't know how to get out of on his own. One he wouldn't dare want to involve others in.**

 **I don't own Ao No Exorcist.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 _Note: The twins are 7 years old._

Rin Okumura, as happy as he seemed, _envied_ most kids his age. Especially these last few days.

The reason being that for some reason, Yukio has been going to Cram School. Shiro and his brother had said they were _extra lessons_ so the smarter child could learn things that were more advanced. But Rin was smart enough not buy that bullshit. And Shiro probably knew that much.

Nevertheless, it was like some silent agreement was made. One where they agreed to _pretend_ he didn't know they were lying. And so that meant Rin had to stay silent. But not only that, it meant that the surprisingly elder twin would have to walk home alone. Because for him to attend to those 'extra lessons' he had to go to a whole other _school._

And that's why the aggressive yet harmless seven-year-old had to walk home in silence. Because he was alone.

If he had to guess, he was pretty sure it was some sort of plot so that Yukio would stay away from him. However, it didn't add up. At least, not the way it was supposed to. But Rin just shook his head, he was better off not thinking of these things.

He just wanted to get home. Fast.

Clutching his schoolbag, he ran as fast as his short legs had allowed him, only to realize, a little too late, that he didn't recognize where he was going in his haste.

Mentally scolding himself, he tried walking down random streets, only to realize he seemed to be getting _further_ away from the monastery rather than closer. _Stupid, stupid me._ He bit the inside of his gums, one of his random habits when he was in a sticky situation.

However, what creeped him out most was that there were some rather weird not to mention sketchy people surrounding the place, most of them were dirty, others looked at him strangely, however, regardless of that, Rin knew this wasn't somewhere for a child his age.

He turned around, maybe he'd be able to find his way back to the school one way or another? But before he had the chance to do so, he felt someone pulling his hair. A sudden dread filling his stomach, "Ow! Watch it!"

The man who lifted him up snickered, he looked dangerous, and that was never a good sign. But there was something peculiar about him. More specifically, he had ears, tails, and fangs. _Cosplay?_

"Hey, kid." He called, before delivering a blow to Rin's stomach, causing the latter to start coughing. "Why don't we play a few games, huh? How 'bout it, just me n' you." He grinned. One that gave you chills down your spine, the malicious intent obvious. It only made Rin resist all the more, "Let me go! You bastard!"

Usually, his injuries were known to heal pretty fast, and he never really thought he needed it all that much. At least, not until now. His stomach ached, and the crash against the wall was definitely not something he's received every day.

He snickered, "Aww, did that hurt?" He sent a kick to Rin's side, one much worse than the previous punch. "Well, you should prepare yourself, because it's only going to get worse from now on."

He kept hitting the poor child, leaving him with the hope that, soon enough, he'd leave him once bored. "'Cmon, aren't ya going to fight back?" He sounded bored, and this only gave the older Okumura hope.

But whatever light had been there soon disappeared once he saw the… The _creature_ taking out some sort of pocket knife. It was then he knew, if he didn't try to fight back, he'd die, he'd die before he could ever prove himself to both his father and brother. He'd never be able to find out about his true family. He wanted answers, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but one day, he'll get them.

Rin clenched his fists at his side, he felt something burning inside him, demanding to be released. He heard footsteps, approaching him. The creepy, dangerous and not to mention arrogant grin on his face. Once more, he grabbed a fist-full of Rin's black hair, nearing the knife towards him, mercilessly about to stab him.

And soon enough, Rin saw nothing but vivid shades of blue as he exploded into bright, azure flames.

* * *

The cold-grey clouds grumbled restlessly, and no more than seconds later, heavy rain was dragging out of the vapor. The thunder boomed, breaking any silence and if Rin was home, he would've yelped at each strike of lightning, shaking in the arms of his adoptive father and Yukio, hoping the storm would pass soon.

But the problem was that Rin _wasn't_ home, he hadn't come home at the usual time, telling Yukio he had something to do—probably a fight—which is why everyone was so worried. Not to mention it was common knowledge that Rin absolutely _despised_ storms.

Yukio kept glancing out the window every two seconds, hoping to catch Rin on his way home to the church. Injuries or not, he just wanted him to come home. Alive.

The younger twin was taping his fingers on the dining table, "Father," His hands were slightly shaking, fearing the worst, "Do you think Rin will be alright?"

Father Fujimoto, the twins adoptive father, has always been good at giving advice to others, seeing it was part of his job. Sadly, he couldn't really say the same when it came to himself. "Of course," He smiled at Yukio, trying to ease his tension, "Ya know Rin, he's always an energetic bundle of joy, he wouldn't give up on us." Yukio nodded, assured, the darker thoughts pushed in the back of his mind for just a while longer.

Although Rin was quite an energetic kid, people loved him for just that, the raw energy he gave to others was, simply put, beyond compare. Although he was rather violent for kids his age, he never fought without reason. He was the complete opposite of his genius-brother, however, they complimented each other perfectly. They always had each other's backs, no matter what. And Shiro couldn't be any prouder of his two sons. He'd risk his life to protecting them if it meant they'd be alive and happy.

His responsibility as a father outweighed any of his duties as an exorcist, not to mention Paladin. So when he started seeing just how scared Yukio was being able to see demons, he started teaching him—alongside Shura—to become an exorcist. He never wanted it to come to this but he wanted to teach him how he could fight his demons. And not only his but also Rin's.

Suddenly, a loud creak resounded through the house, and Yukio knew this meant the door opened. In the blink of an eye, he jumped out of his seat, running towards the entrance, "Rin!" Shiro got up smiling, happy to see Yukio so excited. He was walking to the front door, and only started to run when he heard Yukio's worried voice raising, "What happened to you!?"

Indeed, the sight was bad, The older child leaned against the wall, covered in scratches, bruises, and many wounds. He was clutching his side and winced whenever he tried to move. But when he saw the worried expressions of his family, he put up a smile, "Don't worry Yukio, m' fine," to prove his point, he got up, and stretched, "See? It's just a couple of scratches and bruises here n' there."

Yukio only sighed, he knew his brother well enough to know he just didn't want them to worry, "No." He said, making Rin look at him with wide-eyes, his smile faltering. "You're not alright, I don't know where you've been but you have to get treated, Nii-san!" Rin clutched his sides once more, trying hard not to groan at the pain, "Guess I don't have much of a choice."

Fujimoto got the first-aid for Yukio and soon, the younger brother started treating his wounds based on what he's learned in the Exorcist cram school. However, Rin had no idea about this, hell, he didn't know demons existed. "Wow, Yukio you're so amazing, when did you get this good?"

Although, as proud as he was of what he's learned during his training, he couldn't tell Rin the truth, not yet. No matter how much he wanted to. "Ah, well," Rin's eyes narrowed, almost as if he could tell he was going to lie, "I've been studying about it recently, dad also got me a few books." And although both kids _knew_ that Yukio hadn't exactly lied, it wasn't the whole truth either. But Rin let it slide, he wasn't one judge, and he knew, if Yukio or his father lied to him, they had a good reason to.

Rin winced when Yukio started cleansing his wounds with alcohol. "Ow, ow, be gentle!" Yukio only shook his head, "It's your fault for being so reckless."

The sapphire-colored-eyed child pouted, "B-but it's not—" He was about to protest until his younger brother cut him off "You say that all the time, you should know that we're worried about you, you should be more mature about these sort of things." Yukio continued bandaging his brother, focusing as if his life depended on him.

"Don't forget 'm the older brother though!" Rin reminded, which only made him smile.

Yukio smirked,"Nah, I bet they just made a mistake ."

"Hmpf," Rin huffed, "You may be smarter but, I'm still stronger!" Something suddenly seemed to flash in his brother's eyes, which didn't go unnoticed by Rin, and he instantly took back what he said; "Then again... I don't think that makes me mature." He groaned, "How are we so different?"

"I dunno," Yukio replied. "But that's why we complete each other so well!" At this, both brothers grinned.

"True, we'd make the ultimate duo! Like in those shounen mangas!" Rin mused and played around with the idea in his head for awhile, imagining the two of them defeating demons or some other supernatural creatures. Yukio—more realistically—thought of Rin becoming an exorcist, just like him and father. In fact, he mentally noted to ask father later tonight, right now he was almost done with Rin's wounds.

Finally, putting a Band-Aid on the last cut, Yukio gleamed, once more proud of his job well done."There we go!" He's always wanted to test his newfound knowledge with Rin, in fact, one of the reasons he's wanted to become a doctor was so that he could help his brother.

"Anyways, now that you're all patched up," Yukio closed the first-aid kit given to him "Mind telling me about what happened for you to come so late at night? You even missed supper!"

The pitter-patter of the rain outside was still present, however, it wasn't the heavy downpour from before, instead, it was simply light rain, without any thunder. Rin glanced outside, noticing how the moon and the usually bright stars were hidden behind the ash-grey clouds.

"Well," Rin started, trying to come up with some sort of excuse, or at least, find some way to tell a plausible lie while getting a bowl of rice with chicken from the fridge. "I kinda ended up walkin' at the wrong side of the neighborhood, ya know, the one dad told us not to go in?" He put the cold rice and chicken in the microwave, setting the time.

Yukio was suspicious, he noticed that he was looking at his feet, and his back was facing him, avoiding eye contact. He knew his ticks, same as how Rin knew his. "It just all went downhill from there…"

The microwave beeped, signaling the food was ready.

"Anyways," This time, Rin had a grin on his face, the evil kind, "Dad told me that you've been having fun with a red-head girl named Shura~"

"Oh, God." Yukio groaned, immediately forgetting about any earlier suspicions. " _Please_ don't get the wrong idea."

The older-twin held back a chuckle. Oh, how he loved to tease his brother. "Pft, of course not. Dad explained to me that you two are only _flirting_ but are definitely _very_ compatible." Rin's grin only grew wider when he saw the disgust in his brother's eyes.

"Ewww, that _hag's eleven years older than me_." At that, the older brother finally burst laughing.

"You actually called someone a hag! Wait till I tell dad 'bout this!" At this point, Yukio's face was a deep red, as he tried—but failed—to scare his brother with a murderous glare. "You wouldn't."

"Oh, I would," Rin said, before digging into his food.

And the timing couldn't be any better when Shiro decided to enter the room at that moment, only to see a very red Yukio glaring at his older brother who was pigging out on his food, as if oblivious to the dirty looks.

"Dad! Dad!" Rin jumped out of his chair, his mouth still full of food and a few rice grains around his lips. "Guess what Yuk—" But before he could even _think_ of finishing his sentence, Yukio covered his twin's mouth with his hand, as he finally gulped down the chicken.

"Mfhm!" Rin said, trying to speak but nothing was really coherent, which only confused the Paladin.

"I-ignore him! He's just a little energetic now that he's back home, hahaha." Yukio said, laughing nervously.

Fujimoto only laughed at the twins antics, "Rin, isn't it time for you to go to bed?" He asked when he finally got out of Yukio's grasp.

The elder twin groaned. "Aw, come on dad, it's only ten o'clock."

"You need energy for tomorrow, besides, you have school, don't you?" He ruffled his hair before shooing him off to brush his teeth, the kid only muttering a grumpy "Fineee."

But seven-year-old Rin reall _llllly_ wanted to know why Yukio didn't have to sleep yet. So he hurried to brush his teeth after flossing—just like his dad reminded the two boys—and leisurely made his way downstairs since, although he would never admit it, was very tired.

His hand was on the doorknob when suddenly, he heard his brother's voice coming from inside and thought better of it.

"Dad," The rain had started pouring again, and the sound of thunder boomed once again, and Rin had to do everything just to hold himself back from staying quiet _and_ avoid pissing his pants. "Why can't Rin also become an exorcist?"

 _An exorcist? Yukio's going to be like dad an be one of those people who pretend demons exist but only really give advice?_ He couldn't really imagine that. After all, Yukio always told him his dream was to become a doctor.

But then again, he remembered what that... That _thing_ showed up and cornered him in the alleyway, almost taking his life with some sort of metal pipe. Rin was screaming, crying, tried escaping, until suddenly, flames burst. And he knew it wasn't normal, but he didn't know how to tell his father anything about this either.

And then he remembered what it said, it was so creepy, calling him "Young Prince" and yet, he was still in some sort of daze of how, and _what_ where those flames, he only faintly heard his voice as he ran away, " _They're all lying to you, they don't care about you, young prince!"_

Thinking about it still sent shivers down his spine, he decided maybe he should go sleep, or maybe this was all just a dream itself, whatever. And he was about to go to his shared-room with Yukio, he really was, but what his father said next wasn't easy to turn a blind eye on.

"Yukio," He sighed, "You didn't forget, right? Rin's Satan's son."

And at when he heard those words, the elder Okumura just _froze._

 _Satan? But-but dad said I was human!_ Rin didn't get it, not one bit. And what-he-know-considered was-probably-a-demon's voice echoed in his head. " _They're lying to you, they don't care about you, young prince!"_

Was it possible? No. He had to keep listening, maybe there's more to this.

"Aren't we twins though? Doesn't that mean I'm satan's son too?" Rin had the same question running through his head no to mention a billion more, but most importantly, he was trying to hide and push away any doubts he had at this moment.

"You are twins, Yukio, but your mother was a human, and because of your body being weaker, you couldn't inherit the powers, but Rin did, which makes him only half-human."

"But... I have faith in Rin! I know he's still more than just half-human!" The elder twin's palms were sweaty his feet were shaking, and as much as he was happy about what Yukio said, he was _scared._

"Rin's my son, just like you, I love you both more than _anything_ no matter human or demon, if I didn't you two wouldn't be here now, would you? So believe in me when I say I trust him and want to protect him too."

At this, Rin smiled, however, still taken aback, and decided it was time to go back up to bed, completely forgetting what he came here for in the first place. In the end, maybe sleeping would help him get over it.

He walked up the stairs as fast as he could without making much noise. He loved his family, but he also wondered what the hell was happening. He just couldn't grasp it all. The son of Satan, exorcist, demons, and not to mention the secrets his family keeps.

All in all, his day was a mess, hell, he felt like a mess. His seven-year-old mind was too confused as he crashed on his bed, silent tears slipping, his hands covering his ears from what seemed to be numerous voices echoing in his head. He wrapped his arms around his small, shaking body. His breathing was heavy, and snot was leaking down his nose from all the crying.

And yet, as if some sort of miracle, in the middle of all the sobbing, all the voices and thoughts, Rin felt his eyes getting heavy. And before he knew it, he fell into an uncomfortably dreamless sleep.

* * *

The next morning, Rin woke up with a surprisingly high fever, there was no way Shiro could deny his son was ill. He was immensely worried, after all, even if the child rarely got sick thanks to his demonic heritage, he was still human. Not to mention, he was _his_ son. He promised Yuri he'd protect him and his brother.

In fact, Yukio was just as worried about his twin brother. He even asked if he could stay with him — which Shiro refused telling him he still had to go to school. Rin smiled seeing how much they cared for him. But it didn't change how _awful_ he felt.

He wasn't angry at them, it was more like he was frustrated. Frustrated this wasn't a dream. Frustrated that, his own life felt like a lie. That his own _family_ lied to him. Wasn't he supposed to be able to trust them?

He didn't know what to do anymore. Not only that, he wasn't sure what was and wasn't real. This whole time he had grown up believing he was older, and so, had to protect his beloved sibling. But really, at this rate, _he's_ the one being protected. It felt like a part of him had been ripped away.

He wasn't in any kind of competition with his brother. No. But he knew his family cared deeply for him, even if he was starting to doubt their loyalty, he believed they had their reason. They must have. And just as much as he might have doubts, he too cared a lot for them, more so than he actually showed.

In fact, that was the exact reason when his father announced he'd be off to do some important business — which he guessed was probably something related to his job as an exorcist — he didn't hesitate to search in Yukio's stuff and try to find out all he could about exorcism.

He was surprised to find so many books related to the subject. As much as the books were well-hidden, Rin knew his brother well enough to guess where he'd be putting important things like this. Seeing no more than around twenty minutes had passed, he started browsing through the books. His thirst for knowledge growing for the first time in so long.

He never really was one to read. In fact, excluding his shounen-mangas, he never did. He barely even studied. However, this was an exception, and surprisingly, he found himself going through this with ease. He went through the subject with little to no difficulty too.

It felt great, but before he knew it, it was time for him to start cleaning up, putting every book where he had found it. He went back to his soft bed. He was exhausted, yes, he didn't find what he was searching for, and yet, he had this undying motive. He wanted to not only fight with his brother like they had talked about last night, but also protect him. Protect him with every single ounce of strength he had. Just like Yukio was doing for him.

As he smiled to himself, he heard a knock on his door, shifting in his bed, he noticed his father, Shiro, looking rather tired. However, once he saw Rin's worried face, his problems had seemed to melt away. He approached his child and ruffled his already-messy hair. "Are ya doin' any better?"

He hid any sort of weakness with a tired smile, "Definitely! I can't wait for Yukio to come back home!" It's true that in fact, he was rather impatient to see his brother. He felt rather guilty for going through his things and simply wanted to see his brother smile.

Unaware of whatever Rin may have done to keep himself busy, he smiled fondly, glad his sons were getting along just fine. When they were first born, Shiro was worried they wouldn't get along, seeing as they are two completely different beings.

"Uhm," Rin hesitated, "Dad, can I ask you something?" He wanted to ask about the past, his family, he wanted to ask about Satan. But he didn't know if he should.

"Of course you can." He smiled fondly and seemed curious about what the-seven-year-old wanted to ask.

By now, Rin pretty much regretted it, he was fidgeting uncomfortably. But as he opened his mouth to confess about what happened yesterday, his door _slammed_ opened and Yukio came in looking breathless.

"I—Is Rin okay?" Yukio's warm, caring eyes were enough to make Rin want to tolerate twice the pain he had to deal with. In fact

The elder-twin gave him a wan smile. "Of course I'm fine." As much as he and his brother were complete opposites, they had a unique bond, and it made them inseparable.

Yukio sighed, relieved. "That's good. I was worried ya know."

The elder twin scratched the back of his head. "Sorry 'bout that," He gave him a sheepish grin. "I didn't mean too… I guess I'm just really unlucky." He laughed, although it didn't feel _the same_ , Rin still had doubts clouding his mind. He bit his tongue, he was never good at deceiving others.

Yukio, almost as if sensing his brother's worries, shook his head furiously "Nuh-uh! If that were the case dad and I wouldn't be here, would we?" He gave a small, yet sincere smile, one he only showed to his family. His _real_ family.

Rin's eyes lit up, content to see that, as always, his younger brother was right. "I never thought of it like that! Thanks, Yukio!" Grinning at his brother's newfound energy, Yukio went to put his stuff back and Fujimoto said he'll be getting some soup for the two kids.

The night was spent full of laughter as Yukio talked about school and Rin suddenly remembered about the pile of homework he hasn't done. The priest joined in, and soon enough, everyone in the monastery was having a good time. Being with each other, and chattering without worries, unaware of any dangers, of the event that had occurred last night. The same event that would be the catalyst concerning many future events. Both good and bad.

And yet, that didn't seem to matter. It was Friday, and everyone was tired, especially the two twins. And so, somehow, somewhere in between all the excitement, Rin felt his eyes starting to feel heavy as he let out a yawn before falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.

* * *

 **Completed: May 1st, 2018**

 **Word Count: 4249**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello everyone! It took a little longer than expected because I took time to find a beta and had to hand in a few projects, however it's here! Also, thank you to everyone who's reviewed so far.**

 **Hope you enjoy reading. :)**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Ao No Exorcist.**

 **Note: Twins are 10 years old.**

* * *

Rin was scared.

In the past three years when he found out about the whole demon-thing, the half-demon did _everything_ he could to learn more about them. It seemed like no matter what he did they kept whispering, shouting. Their voices ceaselessly echoing in his head, menacing, threatening. It made him practically unable to leave the monastery.

Contrary to their voices, the demons looked at him with hints of fear. Sometimes malice. It creeped the poor child out. It was only when he decided he had had enough, that he got used to them. Hell, now he'd start getting uncomfortable if they weren't there, and honestly, he didn't know how he felt about that.

They were a blessing in disguise though, because of his fear he forced himself to study the demons. He was able to grasp the knowledge rather quickly. It made him wonder if this was how Yukio felt. He'd been able to see demons since birth, and although Rin called him a wimpy-four-eyes, he wasn't so sure about that anymore.

There was also the fact that for some reason, his senses had started to develop. The problem was that he wasn't the only one to notice. Yukio and the old man had seemed to be slightly, perhaps just a bit more guarded than they usually were. He didn't like that.

He had started getting into more fights. Not because of Yukio getting bullied. If anything, his younger brother was _popular_ at his own school. Having friends, girls chasing after him and all. The reason he got into fights was because they gave him a punching bag. Something he could simply hit in order to calm down. He never started the fights. If anything, as much as they were a stress-relief, he wouldn't dare create more problems for people than he already had. It didn't seem to matter, because trouble always, always found a way to reach him.

Sometimes it worried him. He got into so many fights he had lost count of them. He barely even remembered their faces. Fortunately, Yukio and the old man were out so often, Rin was able to heal—sometimes using first-aid to speed up the process—before they found out about anything. Still he had noticed Fujimoto's lingering gaze. Almost as if he knew something was up.

He didn't know how, but the old man raising him seemed to know everything. One way or another. So, it probably wouldn't surprise him if he knew Rin was aware of what he was. In fact, there was a part of the preteen that _wanted_ him to know. He wasn't able to say it out loud, to tell him himself. He couldn't. It felt as if the moment he'd say it out loud it would be over. It would all come crashing down on him. And then, he'd lose them. He would lose his family. He wouldn't have anyone left. That fact along with his fear of betrayal he was able to keep his silence, constantly fearing the pain that came with it.

Maybe, just maybe if he had friends it would make it easier. Although the thought itself was hopeless, because reality was harsh and cruel. There was no way he could get friends. Not as long as he was the wielder of the legendary blue flames. The same ones that had killed people mercilessly.

It only got worse when he read about the Blue Night. It was in one of Yukio's books. When he read it, it made so much freaking sense. The realization hitting him hard, like cold water being splashed in his face first thing in the morning. It was another one of the million secrets unveiled.

Personally, Rin wasn't one to keep secrets. Especially if it could be avoided. He wasn't a good liar, but he could easily tell when others lied. That's how he always knew they were keeping secrets. He just didn't know how many. He wasn't even sure he wanted to know. It all felt too much for him to swallow so early in the day.

It was five in the morning. Usually he'd be the last one awake, but sleeping was proving to become harder and harder. In every dream he had, there was only a figure with white hair. He had electric blue eyes so similar to his own. But what made Rin know he couldn't trust him was the tail covered in flames, matching pair of horns and wings. Surrounding him were blue flames.

And blue flames could only mean one thing; _Satan_.

It seemed like he was trying to tell him something. The grin on his never left his face. His lips moved, but it was almost like he was mute, or maybe Rin was deaf? Either way, it didn't seem to matter. The simple thought of his sly grin made shivers run down his spine.

He would wake up early every night. Tossing and turning as he was covered with sweat. Any attempts to return to sleep were futile. He would always pretend to sleep. It was better than having nothing to do after four to five hours of sleep.

He couldn't help but sigh in frustration before getting up from the soft bed. Although the ten-year-old was known to be quite an enthusiastic kid, he wasn't known to wake up in a good mood. Especially not when his head was pounding and his eyes were drooping in failed attempts to get him some sleep.

At the other side of the room, Yukio was still sound asleep. He went out later than usual last night with the old man. He deserved to sleep without any interruptions.

Unconsciously holding his breath, Rin slowly got up from his bed, slowly hoping it wouldn't make the usual creaky noise. The monastery was rather old, and so were most of the things in it. Regardless, it was in no way in bad shape. Especially not with the work Shiro put into it.

Glancing once more at Yukio, he tiptoed to the other side of the room, focusing on his steps rather than his twin's soft snores. He felt the tips of his hair standing. If Yukio woke up, he'd be suspicious, he's been caught more than once, and Rin was doubtful the spotty-four-eyes would _really_ believe he needs to go to the bathroom every morning.

In less than a long minute, he made it to the other side and softly closed the door before dashing down the hallway and did his morning routine and heading downstairs to make some breakfast. Soon, the aroma of freshly cooked bacon and eggs filled the air, promptly waking up anyone who was still asleep.

The elder-twin grinned unconsciously as usual. Cooking might be the only thing he's good at, but it's also the thing he loves the most. It was there for him through both the good and not so good times. Not to mention it put a smile on the faces of the people he loved.

Slowly, the priest woke up one by one greeting him with a lazy, "G'morning Rin." To which he'd nod before going back to the task at hand. By the time Shiro had gotten up, the food was ready and everyone was chatting as usual, most having a mug of coffee in hand.

"Man, Rin's cooking is the best!" Nagamoto exclaimed his mouth watering. Everyone nodded happily in agreement, mouths being stuffed full of food.

"Haha, it's true! You can never go wrong when it comes to Rin," replied Izumi.

"Yuki's not awake yet?" asked Rin, noticing the empty seat at the end of the table.

The Paladin shook his head, "Nope, kid's still in deep sleep." Rin narrowed his eyes. _Just how much had Yukio been working last night?_

"That's weird…" He was going to drop the topic, he really was. However, as much as Rin loved his family he was curious and energetic by nature, and when he noticed that the old man flinched he couldn't help but add another comment.

"Did anything happen?"

Fujimoto sighed, "Well school's been hard on Yukio."

Rin nodded apprehensively, he understood. School itself was hard—not to mention hectic—and now his poor younger brother had to work with twice the workload. Of course, it would be hard for him.

"After all, he's very set on his goal."

That last part was true as well, Yukio wanted to work as a doctor his whole life—although that probably wasn't his only goal anymore—he's worked hard for it for as long as Rin could remember. It was nothing new, but it still made the half-human worry.

"I see! Then I'll make sure to make his favorite food for lunch! It always cheered him up," Rin exclaimed, bouncing back in the kitchen to do just that. The priest all smiled at his caring nature. Out of the two twins, Rin lacked brains for sure (at least they thought). But he always made up for what he lacked through his pure heart.

Fujimoto grinned before ruffling the ten-year-old's hair, "M' sure it'll help him a bunch."

"Hey! Hey! Stop that you old fart!"

Shiro scowled at the nickname he'd given him, it had been like this since he was eight. And honestly, he was secretly missing the days he would run around the place screaming 'daddy!'

"What did you just call me? Little shrimp," the priest leered.

Shrimp? Sure, Rin wasn't as tall as Yukio, but a _shrimp_?

The temperature rose in the air as the two glared at each other, none ready to back down. Even the priests were sweaty as sparks flew.

"Now, now," Maruta started, "There's no need to get so riled up…" And just as they were about to do God-knows-what to him, a yawn came from a small figure at the kitchen entrance. "'Morning."

He rubbed his eyes before putting his glasses back on and gave a tired yawn.

"Yukio! Good morning!" Seeing his brother, he gave a warm smile.

After greeting him, Rin quickly got his food ready afterwards. Thankfully it was a Saturday. That meant there was more than enough time for the twins to simply laze around. So of course, his first thought was to spend the day with Yukio. He tried to curb his disappointment when he heard that his twin was heading out with their father, again.

Sometimes he wondered if Yukio's exorcist-lessons were really the only reason. He readily admitted that he felt left out. He wondered if it had anything to do with him being a demon. Even after what his younger brother had said three years ago, Rin knew how easily people could change. He was proof of that himself.

"Ne, Rin," his brother's voice pulled him from his thoughts. "Did you do your homework?"

Okay. Maybe people don't always change completely.

The elder Okumura sighed displeased and muttered something about doing it late. It's not like it was a secret Rin never did his homework, honestly, he was rather notorious for it. It was always part of the many rumors people whispered. It wasn't true at first. Most of them weren't. But over the years, more and more of them had slowly started to become a painful fact.

It scared him.

* * *

Shiro didn't fail to notice just how distant Rin has been. While he hadn't been ignoring them, his distance was distinctly felt. Their family was slowly falling apart and it unnerved him. He had an annoying suspicion in the back of his mind. One that told him his eldest son knew something he shouldn't. He just didn't know _what_.

It didn't help how hectic everything was with Yukio's exorcism exams in three months. He wanted him to be prepared, but he was worried about all the stress he was under. He needed to get at least 80% to pass the exam. No exceptions.

He couldn't forget that this was Yukio, he knew he could do it, but he couldn't help himself from worrying. Even Rin could pass. After all, the kids were both smart. Rin just never bothered to fill in exams. It was a miracle he passed every year. Not that he complained anymore.

Honestly, he only wanted the best for the two. At the moment, it was obvious Rin wasn't getting the attention he should. Already he was being compared to his brother - a prodigy. He barely knew what was going on in the life of the elder. He wanted to be there with him. So, he vowed to himself once everything settles down, he'd be able to do just that.

Right now, he needed help, and not from the priests. They were busy enough teaching Yukio. But who in Assiah could he ask?

Mephisto was out of the question. They may be friends but he couldn't trust the demon king to be a good father. Besides they haven't seen each other for quite some time.

Lightning and Angel would be suspicious, not to mention probably report him to the Vatican if Rin's powers show.

That left one person, Shura. The busty red-head was similar to Rin. He could also get her to teach him how to use a sword too. The only problem with getting her to help was to convince her. Still, he had to try.

He glanced at his son and Shura, they were training. The latter was winning by a landslide. There was no doubt she was skilled. Even Yukio had to admit—although rather begrudgingly—that she was skilled. There was a reason that she was going to be promoted as an upper first class exorcist soon.

A few more rounds passed before they decided to take a break. Seeing an opportunity, Shiro quickly asked to talk to the girl.

"What is it Shiro?" she snapped.

Sighing, he made one last check around him, making sure they were alone.

"I wanted to ask you a favor…"

She stared at him blankly, so he continued. "Yukio's twin brother, Rin. I wanted to ask you if you could train hi—"

"Yer mean _'nother_ ten-year-old-brat like Yukio? Count me out."

Shiro cursed silently, of course she'd refuse, "Could you at least consider? Please. He's not a normal child."

"I don't care if 'e's special 'r somethin'. Shouldn't ya take care of yer own child?" she snorted.

He couldn't keep her gaze. He was slightly ashamed. Ashamed because she was right. Ashamed because he was guilty. Ashamed because he felt stupid to think she would accept.

"Alright," he sighed, he'd have to find some other way.

"It's alright," he muttered.

This wasn't the end though, no matter what he wasn't giving up. Shura said it herself. These were his kids. His angels. Neither of them deserved to be hurt. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he made a mental note to bring the twins out for sukiyaki by then end of the week. Surely, that much would get Rin in at least a better mood than he is now.

Everything else seemed to be passing by in a blur as the two went back to training. He was tired. After all, being the Paladin wasn't easy. There was paperwork, exorcisms, and meetings to deal with. He worked hard for this, and no matter what, the last thing he felt was regret.

"Dad?" He looked up to see Yukio looking at him with hopeful eyes. "She's not coming, is she?"

He blinked. Once. Twice. "What do you mean?"

Shura cut him off before the kid could say anything, "He meant that I was going to be coming for dinner over at your place tomorrow. Right?"

The old man glanced between the two and scratched the back of his head. "Well, sure. I guess," he answered gruffly.

Yukio scowled as Shura cheered. Fujimoto couldn't help but let out a low chuckle at the scene. There wasn't anyone quite like her to annoy his younger son. It was probably one of the brighter moments during their training.

It was rather ironic. Fujimoto had asked Shura to come over to the monastery countless times. Yet not once did she accept. He knew she didn't have any ill intentions, but he couldn't help but wonder what in the world she was planning.

That wasn't the only thing he ended up worrying about.

Apparently, Rin had gone for a walk through the park. However, when he came back, he wasn't alone. He had brought back not another child, but a man.

A man known Johannes Faust the Fifth but liked to be referred to as Mephisto Pheles.

* * *

Now it wasn't Rin's fault. He had tried making them understand that the many times it was true. And it never worked. Never.

So, he had to explain to them the hard way. Rin and Mephisto had meant coincidently as Rin was eating ice cream and walking through his favorite—albeit rather abandoned—park. It was just around the corner, and during his fondest memories, he and his brother were swinging happily as Shiro pushed them.

He was lost in his thoughts, and he happened to bump into the clown- ahem, dashing man. In consequence, his chocolate ice cream ended up staining his favorite shirt. As it happens this led to Mephisto being extremely pissed. _Beyond_ pissed, really. Meanwhile, Rin being well, a child, was broker than broke. He had no more than a piece of chewing gum in his pocket and was unable to offer the man the payment he demanded for ruining his shirt.

He resorted to the last thing possible—invite him to taste the best food he would ever have in his lifetime. Served by none other than himself. Although Rin was rather offended when he started laughing at his face.

"Pft, bwahaha," he clutched his stomach, seeming as if he'd die of laughter. "You? A mere child? Cook the best dinner I'd have in _my_ whole lifetime?"

Okay, the elder twin might not have looked like it he'd admit, but cooking was more or less the only thing he was known to be good at. He held huge pride in it. Not to mention how talented he actually was.

He glared at the strange man, "I'm confident I can. Or are you just scared that I'm right?"

Immediately the strange man stopped laughing and peered down at him with curious eyes.

"Oh? Is that a challenge? My, well aren't you rather confident."

Rin smirked, "Oh, you bet."

That is how he ended here. Serving dinner for one more person than usual. He didn't really think about the consequences. In fact, it would be rather uncharacteristic of him if he did. He didn't get why everyone was so surprised to see the clown- man. He wasn't even scolded for coming home late!

Kyodo was the first to speak; "Mephisto!? What are you doing here?"

The mischievous man gave his Cheshire grin, "Me? Why I'm only here to see this adorable boy's cooking!"

Rin felt rather uneasy seeing as they talked to each other in such a hostile manner, "How do you guys know each othe—" However, the poor child was interrupted by a door slamming open, revealing his brother and the old man. "Mephisto!? So, it is true?"

"Shiro! It's been quite a while now, hasn't it?"

The elder twin noticed how his twin had been glaring at their guest, Fujimoto on the other hand seemed delighted. While the old man seemed, happy there was a hint of suspicion in his voice that he couldn't mask.

"It has. It is rather unusual for you to visit. Not to mention that you've came here with my son," he turned to look at Rin. "Care to explain?"

Rin quickly explained to everyone how his clumsy ways had ended up getting him a triggered Mephisto who he now owes a favor. He didn't fail to notice how Shiro rubbed his temples at what seemed to be a headache. For a second, his eyes dropped to the ground looking away and silently blaming himself for causing even more trouble. The moment was gone as quickly as it came and no one had noticed.

"Now that you're here then, guess we can't do much," he grinned at Rin as if exchanging a wonderful secret before addressing Mephisto, "But don't for even a second underestimate his cooking skills."

Mephisto chuckled, "Alright, alright."

Seeing as everyone was laughing and the atmosphere calmed, Rin started to make dinner while everyone else was chatting in the hall. Minus Yukio. He was with Rin in the kitchen.

The air was tense. They both knew just how much they wanted to tell each other, but neither dared. Somehow there was still the feeling as if they were having a silent conversation. One day, one day they'll be able to tell each other everything.

"Rin," Yukio's voice was firm and scolding, and the elder twin knew what was about to come. "You should be more careful. Especially around that man."

Pretending he didn't hear him, he continued to cook. He hated being scolded. Yukio knew that much.

"Rin. Listen," Yukiko started again.

Rin winced at the sound of his voice. Sure, he hated scoldings. He hated how his voice was hard and sounded mature. How it reminded Rin that his brother was just that much better than him. Yet At the same time, his brother's voice was tired. He didn't want to deal with him, but he still cared for his brother.

"Yah?"

Frying some fish, he pretended to be uninterested. He knew Yukio was right. The problem here was that he knew he heard about Mephisto somewhere. The fact that everyone else knew him reminded him of the exorcism books Yukio had. There were even some in the old man's room and he wasn't the only one.

"You should be careful of Shura. She's comin' for dinner tomorrow."

At the mention of the redhead's name he immediately found a way to escape the upcoming lecture.

"Ohh~" He grinned. Teasing Yukio was one thing that couldn't get old. "You mean that hot-chick you like?"

The seemingly older twin flushed.

"God. Rin. I don't. I like Shi-" Before he could even finish his phrase, he cut himself off, almost as if he didn't realize it himself.

"Who? Is she someone at your school?" He didn't really want to pry on his brother's personal business, but this was practically the first decent conversation they've been having in years and Rin was not going to miss an opportunity.

Yukio's reply was quick. Too quick.

"No one! Look, just be careful. Alright?" And with that, his brother seemed to storm out of the kitchen as Rin chuckled. No matter how mature, his brother was always fun to tease. Especially when it came to his love life.

 _Love life, huh?_ The elder Okumura smiled bitterly. _I envy him No one could ever love me. Let alone care._ It didn't matter. He didn't even have friends who would care, he wondered what it felt like. But it was alright. He had the people at the monastery. He didn't need friends. He had lived without them for pretty much his whole life. He didn't need them but he yearned for them.

In an attempt to forget about his worries, he resumed to the task at hand. After all, he wouldn't want to disappoint one of his Shiro' s friends. Especially after the clown had made fun of him.

"Rin?" Said kid turned around to stare at his father with curious eyes. "Hm?"

"Well, it's been awhile we've all had lunch outside. Yukio, me and you," Shiro gave a small smile seeing the eagerness on Rin's face as he was starting to get where this was going. "So how about we all go out together, Friday night for sukiyaki?"

The half-demon's eyes couldn't get wider with both shock and joy. "Duh!" He grinned, "Your treat, right? And I can get as much as I want?"

The Paladin was hesitant for a moment; last time they had this conversation it didn't end well for his poor wallet… Then again, he felt like he owed Rin this much. "Okay but-"

Not wanting to hear anything else, he cut of the elder. "Yes! Thanks old man! You're the best!"

Shiro couldn't help but shake his head with amusement as he messed up his son's already messy hair. "No problem," He grinned, "Shrimp."

Pouting he crossed his arms, "We'll see about that! One day, I'll grow even taller than Yukio!" Chuckling, Fujimoto left the kitchen. But not before telling him, "We'll see."

Pinching the bridge of his nose to calm down. Rin checked on the food noticing it was almost ready and noticeably relaxed. He took out empty dishes and started preparing the final touches before calling the others in for dinner.

Mephisto stared at the food, a sly grin spreading across his face. "My, my, I may have underestimated you after all." Yukio stared at him suspiciously. God, there was no telling what he was scheming.

Smiling proudly, Rin waited as Mephisto gingerly ate his food.

"Good, good," he smirked. "You'd definitely be a great asset in the True Cross Academy festival."

It was almost as if his words had a double meaning. After all, even Rin, who hated school with passion, knew that True Cross was one of the most elite high school in all of Japan.

Shiro clenched his fist. His eyes hard.

"Samael," Moments the old man called the king of time by his given name were without a doubt rare. It always meant he was in a tight spot. And yet, for once, it was almost as if he didn't care.

The Paladin's glare only intensified as he was promptly ignored.

"After all, even at this age, you are quite the talented one," Mephisto continued on.

Rin simply blinked as he went on. Shiro was getting furious.

"Samael. _Stop_ ," the old man barked.

No matter how many fights Rin has gotten in, never has he heard Shiro sound so… Threatening.

"Ah! Would you look at the time!" He merely gave Shiro a sidewards glance, "I really should get going now." Glancing at the clock, he said his final word. "Ciao!"

Rubbing his temples, all Fujimoto could do was rub his temples as a headache formed. Sighing tiredly, he let himself fall on the nearest couch. His mind was jumbling with the recent events. Mephisto, as troubling as he could be, always opened many, many doors for Shiro when he came along. He knew this was no accident. It was simply planned.

However, on the other hand, Rin was wondering what was wrong with True Cross. He knew Yukio was planning to go there. Was that why? Did they want to keep Rin as far as possible from Yukio? Like they've seemed to be doing these days? Was it not what was wrong with True Cross but what was wrong with him?

He gulped, he hoped it wasn't true. After all, hadn't the old man said they were going to go eat sukiyaki together? He wouldn't be keeping him away from Yukio if that was the case, now would he? The thought disturbed him. It was like an itch you just couldn't scratch.

"Father?" Yukio peered, "Are you feeling alright?" Glancing at Shiro, Rin noticed how frustrated he looked. It was as if there was something on his mind. Persistently bothering him. All in all, Rin was new to this. He's never seen his adoptive-father so… confused.

He smiled, "I'm fine. Mephisto just made me realize something."

Satisfied with his father's answer Yukio nodded, "Feel free to ask me n' Rin if anything's wrong. Okay?"

"Sure, sure. Don't worry your little heads over this, alright?" He turned towards Rin. "And promise me, Rin, be careful."

The elder twin groaned. Not this again. He had had enough from Yukio. And now the old man? He didn't get it.

Heading towards his bedroom to avoid further lectures, he merely responded with a quick dismal, "'Kay."

But if he really thought he'd get away with that, then he'd have to think twice.

"Rin! Come back."

Huffing, said boy complied, "What? I'm not a baby anymore. I get it."

Once more, Shiro sighed, "You _don't_ get it. Your acting as if this is all just a _game_. As if life is a game. One day, I won't be here anymore. What will you do then?"

Honestly, Rin didn't know. But he was tired. He was tired of people thinking he wasn't taking everything seriously. As if he wasn't aware. Because he was. And truth is he was scared. He was scared of the demon in his own shadow, the one at the corner of the street, and the ghost flying near the monastery.

He couldn't show it. He wasn't supposed to know. He knew how it felt to be betrayed. So would it hurt if he kept this a secret? Just to protect them? Was it worth having to feel a small jab at his heart every time they acted as if he wasn't aware?

Perhaps it wasn't ever really a question. Because the answer was blatantly obvious.

His voice cracked, as he gave his first honest answer in three years. "I don't know."

Yes. It was worth it a million times and over.

* * *

The next day, Rin woke up in a good mood despite the night before. He was going to meet someone new. He remembered the last time he met a stranger. It was during his counseling at school due to his violent nature. He always hated it but this time was different. It wasn't through the school.

He quickly forced school in to the back of his mind. He had fought because of Yukiko's bullies. The fights he got in to now were different but not entirely his fault. The kids that picked on him now didn't go to his school and sadly his teachers didn't see the need to step in seeing as it wasn't their responsibility. _Again_ , Rin felt himself shoving these thoughts away. Instead starting to wonder about this new person.

The elder Okumura brother waited as patiently as he could. He did everything just to keep himself busy. He even tried training with a wooden sword he found in Shiro's room. He made sure to keep it underneath his bed and always used it to practice when Yukio wasn't there.

He didn't know why, but something about swords fascinated him. Every time he trained with it he felt a rush of exhilaration. The movements came to him so naturally, it was as if he was flying. Every move was enough to take his breath away. And the best part was that it made him feel free. Something he hadn't felt in so long. Hell, he didn't know when the last time he had felt liberated.

He had to stop soon after his first few swings when the front door opened, signaling that Yukio and the old man are home. Even from his room he could hear a loud unfamiliar voice booming from downstairs.

"Man! C'mon, he's not even waiting for you? What kind of brother is he?"

Rin tried his best not to wince at that, any hopes about this 'Shura' crashing down with her harsh words. He did not need another person to scold him twenty-four on seven. He was always the first who ran out of school simply because he hated the teachers who kept staring at him, as if he would explode any minute. They were like hawks, and he hated it.

"It's not really his fault—" Rin couldn't help but snort as Yukio cut himself off. He was always blamed. It was _always_ his fault.

He didn't really hear the rest of their conversion because they spoke in hushed voices. Only when he went down to make dinner pretending he had no idea she was here did he finally get to see her. And in all honestly, she was not what he expected.

To be fair, he wasn't sure of what he expected either. All he knew was that it wasn't a boobzilla wearing nothing but short shorts and a bikini as a nonexistent top. She seemed to be equally surprised, staring back and forth from Rin and Yukio.

"Pft? This is yer twin?"

Slowly, Yukio nodded not sure what the problem was.

"'e looks nothin' like yer. Although the good looks probably run in the family."

Raising a curious brow, the ten-year-old tried his best as to not stare.

"Shouldn't you uhm, I dunno, cover up a bit?"

She simply laughed at his comment, "Don' worry. 'M always like this."

Nodding, he made no further comments as he went to prepare dinner. He didn't really understand why someone like her would be an exorcist. She seemed rash, unruly, and definitely not anything like Yukio and the old man. Then again, he probably wasn't one to speak either. Especially not after their conversation yesterday.

By the time everyone started eating, Rin noticed Shura's critical eye on him. Not to mention the hoard of questions. "Have yer ever used a sword before?"

The elder twin knew he couldn't answer that honestly. Not when everyone was listening.

"No," he mumbled.

Although it's not like he's ever used a real one. It's always just been the wooden one he's found in Shiro's room.

"Hm, I heard ya fight, how often?"

Rin grumbled. "Maybe once a week." _Or more like every day_ but he could keep that to himself.

She clicked her tongue and glanced at Shiro.

"Then how 'bout we spar a bit. I can teach yer the basics n' stuff after I see what yer lackin'," she offered.

Rin froze. Someone was willing to fight him? And he wouldn't get into trouble?

Shiro froze. He thought for sure she'd refused for good and smiled when Rin shrugged.

"Why not?"

Oh, he had no idea how bad he'd be losing.

Shura was thinking the same. From what he's told her, he has little to no experience. He was just another newbie. So why did Shiro want her to teach him? She'd wanted to test him ever since their conversation, but now she wasn't sure if it was even worthwhile.

When they headed towards the training room, Shiro and Yukio had gone out the room to discuss something. Rin finally found his chance. He wasn't planning on holding back.

He was rather confident. After all, fights were never a challenge for him. His strength had always been abnormal for not only his age, but for even a mere human. One punch usually did the trick in street fights. That seemed to be the problem though, because this wasn't a street fight. His palms were sweating as his grip on the wooden sword tightened. The second he was ready, he was barely able to blink before she swiftly made the first move.

Unprepared, he relied on his instincts to dodge before delivering his own attack only for her to block it. She didn't stop to hesitate for a second. She wasn't taking it too easy on him for being a kid and that much was very apparent with a sharp blow to his side.

Rin was losing for sure. It was honestly a first for him. Everyone knew him as a demon. People, even in the shadier parts of town would point and whisper behind his back. He was feared. He hated it. One thing he hated more was losing, because one of the few talents Rin had was fighting. Other than cooking, he had pretty much nothing to show.

"C'mon. You can do better than this. Don't tell me your as stupid and useless as they say," Shura clicked her tongue in what seemed like annoyance before delivering another attack.

"Shut up," He grumbled a few curses here and there.

Sometimes, he'd be close to winning, but those were simply rarer moments. Half the time he was wondering if he should give up.

She snorted, "I don't care if your ten, Shiro saw something in you. But then he's asking me to train you."

Rin narrowed his eyes. He didn't know whether she was bad-mouthing the old man or him, but he didn't like it. No matter the distance, that man was the one who made Rin realize many things. He owed him more than he knew.

"Didn't I tell you to shut up already?" He was short on breath, but he never gave up. Never.

He leapt in to attack once more, this time with more of his strength in it. It barely phased her but it didn't matter. He simply wanted to wipe that annoying smirk off her face.

It was only when he realized he was reaching his limit where he felt like giving up most.

"S'that all? Don' tell me yer as bad as yer wimpy brother," she looked at him with a calculating gaze, but at the same time, she could feel a hint of smugness behind her words. That's when he felt himself snap.

For a second, Rin swore he felt his electric-blue flames flowing through his body. He simply ignored them before glaring at her with all he had.

"I don't care how much you insult me," he leapt in for another attack, this one stronger, and much more dangerous than the others. "But don't you dare insult my brother!"

It was funny how the word felt foreign as he said it. It had been so long since he had even heard the word. But he paid no heed to that. Right now, he was focused on one thing.

Closing his eyes, he took a shaky breath—a vain attempt to calm himself down. She looked at him with wide eyes, they were filled with both confusion, and yet, also understanding. She didn't know what to do as she unconsciously whispered to herself; "Blue flames? How?"

Rin froze. It wasn't until moments passed he finally looked down at his hands, gripping his sword.

Noticing how the flames didn't do anything to the wood, he decided it was probably the fact he had the choice in what he wanted to burn. That didn't seem to matter to anyone else though. Blue flames meant

danger and no one wanted to be near danger.

Concentrating heavily, he did his best to retract the growing flames. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead as they slowly vanished. Staring at his feet, he felt guilty. Guilty and scared. He could barely croak out, "Sorry."

A wave of panic came over him. Shura was Shiro's apprentice and trained alongside Yukio. There was no doubt she'd tell him. If they find out how would they act? Would they get even more distant? Maybe he'd even get kicked out. They were _exorcist_ after all!

Slightly shaking, he left the room, but not before telling her, his voice pleading; "Don't tell them." He sucked in a breath. "Please."

Gently closing the door, he went upstairs to his room hoping no one had seen him. He felt like a mess. He didn't know what happened. He didn't know if he wanted to know either. He racked his mind for hours and hours on the infinite possibilities. So he couldn't help but jump when he heard a knock on the door. "Come in?"

The door opened revealing Shiro, he wasn't mad. Not in the slightest. Instead, he looked confused, but on top of that, there was relief. Rin simply had no idea why.

"What did you do?"

The elder Okumura groaned. _Of course,_ he's in trouble. "I…uhm," He tried to stutter out a few words but it all came out incoherent, confusing the old man even more. "Gosh, I honestly don't even know!"

"Although I am impressed. Shura agreed to teach you. So, whatever you did, you must have impressed her quite a bit," the old man continued.

Rin couldn't help but gap. Did this mean she wasn't scared? That the skilled woman would actually teach him? A straight-F student who never tried and skipped classes?

"Wait, what? She's going to teach me?"

At this, Fujimoto laughed. "I didn't think she would either. She's never accepted to teach anyone." He smiled at Rin's joyful expression. It's been awhile since he's seen such pure joy.

Soon enough, Yukio and Shura joined them. Shura simply laughed, amused at the scene.

"Doncha forget, this only means more work for ya. Anyways, don't forget I'm not going easy on you."

Huffing silently, Rin simply replied under his breath, "Whatever."

In all honesty, he was happy. It didn't matter if he had to work twice as hard. Even trice. This was his chance to actually get good at something he enjoyed almost as much as cooking. If anything, he was glad

it could help with his problems.

What made him happy the most was that she actually listened. She hadn't said anything, nor did she mention it later on—at least, not until many years later. Another one of his secrets were safe for a while longer. And that was enough to help him sleep even a little longer at night.

Even if it wasn't forever.

* * *

 ** _Big_ thanks to my beta, Oceanwind, for this chapter :)**

 **Word Count: 7208**

 **Finished: 5/13/2017**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello! Here's a new chapter :) I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, the next one will be the last before the manga-related part of the story starts. Although even then, I'll try to add different twist and will change the story quite a bit after they meet Amaimon at the amusement park.**

 **Also, big thanks to everyone who's added this story to their favorites and follows! Not to mention a second thanks to those who've reviewed. ^^**

 **Note: The twins are 13 years old.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Blue Exorcist.**

* * *

Rin never had friends.

Instead, he had people close to him, so close he called them family; Yukio, Shiro, and the priest at the monastery. That was it, and it was enough.

He was happy with them too. He thought it was alright, just because he wasn't seeing people from outside the monastery didn't mean he was lonely. He never really bothered with his studies either. Maybe he'd be close to Yukio's level if he tried but he didn't have much of a goal in life. Really, he was busy enough with training and looking into the whole exorcism thing.

Although no one really knew, he was actually getting rather good at it. It felt like he got some sort of invisible medal. Invisible because no one else was there to see or know about it. But that was fine, because to him, it felt like he not only accomplished something, but he felt a step closer. Now a step closer to what? The thirteen-year-old himself didn't know. He was just happy.

It was great at first because for once, Rin had hopes and they were higher than the sky. In fact, for some time he actually saw himself being _happy_ in the future. His high hopes were his determination, they made him move forward. It felt like he was on cloud nine. Everything _seemed_ clear. At least at the time.

It took one push, many bashful comments, and painful realizations before he fell. He was so high up in the sky, so when he fell, he fell hard. He lost sight of his light. Now, no matter how hard he trained it wasn't enough. No matter how truly happy he tried to be, it wasn't enough. He tried to stop fighting, but once again, no amount of hope nor effort proved to be enough.

Once, he even questioned if his family was worth it. They kept so many things from him. It made the half-demon wonder if everything was really worth it. He was only thankful Shura was there to snap him out of it at one point.

"Are yer stupid or what!?" She yelled.

"Bu-" he started to retort but was cut short with a sharp slap.

She was mad. He's said some rather awful things to his father and Yukio. And before he knew it, his younger sibling was crying. Not loud and obvious like when they were a kid. No. He ran to their room and let the tears fall, silently.

"Didn't it ever cross yer mind that they all _cared_ for you!?"

Rin gulped. He realized his mistake. He knew he was stupid. He was hotheaded. But this wasn't the time. No matter how selfish he was.

"I-I…" He stopped himself. He was going to apologize. But was Shura really the one who he had to apologize to? "I'll fix this."

He never broke his promises. This was no exception. Later that night he really had gone to fix everything. It hurt them, he knew. He was hurt for similar reasons. He felt guilty. Guilty because that's when he realized just how much of an idiot he was.

He was suffering because he felt betrayed. He was suffering because a lot of things happened and he didn't know what to do. He's suffering because he doesn't know who to trust anymore. Yet here he was, taking it out on those who mattered to him. People who deserved none of what he was giving, no matter how much they made him suffer. It made him feel _awful._

Since then Rin couldn't eat properly.

It's not like he starved himself. Far from it, but he'd get an uneasy feeling. Sometimes he'd feel full and throw up whatever he's eaten. His cooking was great and all, there was no doubt., but that had nothing to do with the dreadful feeling in the pit of his stomach every bite he took.

There were still better times though. Times where he could eat whatever the hell he wanted and still want more. Those were the best moments. It was usually those good days he managed to get a few extra hours of sleep in too.

Sadly, today just wasn't one of those days.

He had just managed to slam the bathroom door behind him before his recently eaten lunch came back up. The noise of the bile hitting the toilet water had him dry heaving for a few extra moments. His mouth had a nasty aftertaste and after finally collecting himself and cleaning up, he washed his mouth out.

"Rin? Are you okay?"

Rin cursed as he heard father Yukio's voice from the other side of the door

"Yeah! I'm alright."

"You sure?" Yukio asked, worried. "Of course! Why wouldn't I be?"

His brother sighed, sounding defeated. "Alright then…"

Hearing footsteps growing fainter and fainter, the elder twin let out a deep breath. He didn't know what he was doing anymore. He couldn't be _truly_ happy, not anymore. Not when he can't face his family and set things straight. He tried a lot of things to get his mind off of it all. Training, fighting, even _studying._

Simply said, nothing worked. Something was always there to remind him. It didn't matter what, because Rin wasn't known to have the best attention spawn ever, and so, he got distracted easily. Especially if he was bored. On the bright side, his knowledge had grown further than he's expected. He was proud, by now he could name every demon king and their weaknesses. He knew their kins, and it wasn't only his brothers; he knew about most demon types. How to identify one and fight them.

The only thing he _didn't_ have knowledge about was fatal verses. He tended to stay far away from those after accidentally hurting himself once. God knows what would happen if he'd accidentally recited his own. The thought itself made Rin shudder in fear, he was sure he wouldn't want to find out.

Naturally, after knowing so much, he's been wanting to put his knowledge to the test. In fact, on his twelfth birthday, Shura had given him a sword - a real sword. After that he had to bug her a few hundred times before she accepted to bring him on a small mission. "Only to observe," was he condition. However, it was ridiculously boring for the now thirteen-year-old, so he decided to go hunt for the creatures on his own.

Needless to say, it was ridiculously boring for the now thirteen-year-old, so he decided to go hunt for the creatures on his own.

The first time he exorcised a demon, he ended up in a rather sticky situation. However, he managed to pull himself out quickly. His flames were there to protect him as a last resort. Although there was no doubt in his swordsman skills, he acted on pure instinct, and that meant his flames would surface when he feels like he's in danger.

Nevertheless, everything did turn out well, plus, he was rather lucky that no one found out about him going out every once in awhile to kill a demon or two, however, the use of his flames and his demonic aura was felt by the higher level demons. They immediately recognized him.

That meant he had to start dealing with demons chasing after him. Sure, you could count it as extra training, but even Rin wanted a break from time to time. No matter how determined he was to get out of a scrape, it wasn't rare for him to come home with several more injuries than he was used to. It was worse at the beginning though, demons simple enough to exorcise such as hobgoblins risked getting him as broken leg (or some other severe injury).

Silently, Rin managed to sneak into the room he shared with the other Okumura. He started packing. Thanks to Father Fujimoto he was now forced to go on a week-long trip with his classmates and teachers to Kyoto. They would be staying at an inn and apparently, there was a couple more kids who lived there. Not to mention the only reason they hadn't stayed at some hotel was that the headmaster was apparently really good friends with the owner.

Or something like that anyways…

Now on the other hand, Yukio—whose footsteps were growing louder and louder by now—would be staying home because he didn't need to "get out and socialize more". Although the elder twin didn't have any friends nor a good excuse he shouldn't socialize and get out more, this was still against his own will! Shouldn't that be enough of a reason?

Rin only briefly pondered about a few ways he could avoid going to Kyoto altogether. He dropped the thought soon enough though seeing as they all involved a furious Shiro grounding him and another lecture to his never-ending list.

Cursing as Yukio knocked on the door, he made a mental note to never let the old man sign him up for something so stupid ever again. Especially not if Yukio wasn't forced to go with him. Even if Yukio was far from the rebellious loner he was.

Gritting his teeth in frustration, Rin shoved the last of his things in the large bag.

"Nii-san? Can I come in?"

Apparently, Yukio had taken it to be a habit where whenever Rin would have one of his earlier "episodes" he'd knock before entering the next hour, just in case he was doing something he shouldn't see. To say Rin wasn't thankful was a lie, after all, he needed the privacy since indeed he _does_ tend to need a few extra seconds to bring himself together before facing anyone.

Glancing at the mirror on the other side of the room, he noted his appearance giving it a pass. "Yah, sure."

Slowly, the door first thing the older brother noticed was Yukio's messy hair and his tired eyes - signs he's been training until the early hours of the morning. Or maybe he's done training. Perhaps already an exorcist by now? He wouldn't know.

But there was no time left for him to be caught in his grim thoughts as the other frowned "Rin."

He gulped at the tone in his brother's voice. After all, the number of times Yukio called him by his actual name could be counted on a single hand. They were _never_ good times either.

"About earlier… Are you sure you're okay?"

He raised a questioning brow. Yukio never cared, or well, he just never really noticed how trouble he could get.

He couldn't help but wonder; _Since when was I so_ _ **obvious**_ _?_

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I?"

There was a long silence. The younger of the two stayed silent.

Ignoring his question he asked again; "Have you been keeping secrets from us? Things that we should know?"

This time he was hesitant. He wondered what had gotten Yukio to question him. Or was it the old man? Hell, it was probably the whole monastery for all he knew. Rin bit his lip in hopes to lessen the prickling pain he felt in his chest.

"Have you?"

The elder did his best to stay calm, cool, and certainly collected. He had no idea if it was working. At best he probably came off as nonchalant or monotone. However it was the complete opposite, after all, he wouldn't have noticed how Yukio hesitated if he didn't.

"No."

Rin snorted, holding back a laugh. No?

So he gave his own dishonest reply.

"Then you've got your answer; _no_."

* * *

Shiro knew it wasn't only him; Yukio wanted answers too.

At first, they both felt bad. They hid a lot of things from Rin. But recently it seemed like the tides turned, Rin wasn't well, _Rin_. He became distant, he got irritated easily, he came home late, and he was always injured.

Sometimes, he wondered if Rin resented them. But then he'd see how he cooked them food, help around the house, and smile his most genuine and kind smile. He's seen him help others, stand up for his brother, and hold back any tears that dare fall.

Whatever the case, Rin never lied. Well, alright, maybe he has lied, but never with any ill intent. Now that Shura was training him, he was making fast progress, the red-head herself was impressed. He wondered if she knew more than she let on because sometimes, she'd give him _that_ look.

Nevertheless, he stayed ignorant of any possible dangers that could happen. Even when he's started coming home twice as late, or when he's seen his injuries had multiplied considerably. Then there was the rate they healed at. He wouldn't even be surprised if half the time, he'd heal before they got home. After all, it was just like Rin to not want them to worry.

His worries were assured. But his questions weren't. Because although the elder twin was honest, loveable, and only wanted the absolute best for the two, Fujimoto _knew_ he was hiding something. The question here was what he was hiding?

That's why he was on his way to True Cross Academy, known as not only one of the most elite schools in the world, it was also where Mephisto lived. Under normal circumstances, Shiro wouldn't be asking him for help. But those were 'under normal circumstances' and things right now were far from normal.

"I've got to say I'm rather surprised, didn't expect you to come to me first."

The younger of the two merely sighed, "I just wanted to ask you a…" He hesitated for a second. "Favor."

The king of time grinned, "It's about that boy, isn't it? The one who was a good cook?"

Shiro laughed, "You know everything, I swear you never change."

"Of course I do, I _am_ the king of time after all. Now, come on, make yourself comfortable."

Shaking his head in amusement he did as he was told as Mephisto ordered his butler to make them some tea. Although he couldn't exactly trust the demon with everything, there were always the more important things that he could. Just like this.

He pinched the bridge of his nose at the thought if he was going to do this, he had to do it _right._ "I want to know what's bothering Rin. What's making him so… Different."

Mephisto raised a brow, "By different do you mean other than the fact he's Satan's bastard child?"

"Does that even have to do with any of this?"

The demon grinned, the grin never meant much good. "It does actually."

When the Paladin stayed silent, he continued, his voice slightly darker, and held the slightest sign of mischief.

"Shiro, he knows."

Everything felt like a blur.

"What?" he managed to choke out.

The shock made him numb. After all, he's put so much effort to keep him safe, to make sure he would live a normal childhood.

"You heard me." The demon sipped his tea, legs crossed, "And there's more."

Fujimoto clenched his fist, could he handle more? "Like what?"

Mephisto gave him his signature smirk.

"Why don't you go ask him yourself?"

Oh, how he loved drama.

* * *

All Suguro Ryuji wanted to do was restore the temple by defeating Satan.

He didn't care if his father or even the whole world made fun of him. Once he had his mind on something, no one could change it. He was determined, he studied constantly, and he had everything planned by now; at fifteen years old he'd get a scholarship to True Cross Academy and join the cram school with Renzo and Konekomaru. He'll become an Aria and Dragoon then defeat Satan.

It seemed simple enough, but he knew he wanted to do the impossible, no one has even _dared_ challenge Satan since the Blue Night. The same night everything went wrong. It wasn't the temples fault. No, it was Satan's, and anything related to him would forever remain the enemy in Ryuji's eyes.

Many at the Myoo Dha were exorcist, and ever since they've merged with the True Cross order ten years ago, things got slightly better. The two formed quite the team, and the thirteen-year-old found himself wanting to be just as strong as them.

Indeed, he held his dream with high value, but his friends and family were always first. They're the reasons he's doing this in the first place. Although they weren't always the best people ever, he was glad to have people like them, people like his two best friends. Even if Shima was a lazy ass.

"Oi! Bon, the Tokyo kids arrived!" He looked up from his book, noticing Koneko's voice.

"'Kay," Setting his book on the table and getting up, he noticed their pink hair friend disappeared,

"Where's Shima?"

"Apparently, he left a little early to check out the girls." He sighed, "Ya know how he is."

The brunette rolled his eyes, "Didn't that idiot say he'll stop chasing after girls _yesterday_?"

Miwa laughed, "I'd be surprised if he actually did keep his word."

Suguro let out a smile and was about to comment before the two noticed the growing sound of chattering students. The ceaseless buzzing and the unlimited amount of energy the students contained increased when they opened the door, which would be a rare sight if their teacher hadn't been busy talking with Suguro's mom.

Immediately, the two friends noticed Shima talking to two girls, and Bon would have gone to drag him away if it wasn't for the dejected look he had on his face. The pinkette was about to head off to another group of girls before he suddenly felt a smack on his head. "Ow! Bon! What was that for?"

The most-likely-elder-one twitched in irritation, " _That_ was for flirting with some random girls, did you forget what we're supposed to be doing?"

The other grumbled, rubbing his head, "Yeah, yeah, we have to help the students around the place and serve as some guide. But I'm pretty sure we all know the others are going to take care of that instead."

Koneko sighed, "You're right, but at the very least we should refrain from bothering them."

"I wasn't bothering them!" Shima protested.

Bon snorted, "Right,"

"I was just asking for their phone numbers!"

Sensing the usual argument, the shortest out of the three cut in, "Anyways, isn't one of the boys sharing a room with us?"

"Seriously? What a pain, Isn't there enough guest rooms to fit thirty people?"

Neko nodded, "Yeah, but apparently this kid's troublesome or something, so much the teachers don't want to take care of him."

Bon furrowed his eyebrows in both confusion and anger, "That bad? What an idiot. I hate people who treat life like some sort of game."

Shima nodded, "Any bets on who it is?"

Scanning the students, Bon pointed towards a kid with blond hair who just pushed someone. He looked like your typical bully.

"I'm betting on blondie over there,"

On the other hand, Shima pointed towards a girl with black hair and green eyes, she was chatting with two others about something rather serious,"I'm betting it's her, she seems like the rebel type of girl."

"Hm," Koneko warily let his eyes wander a bit, "I'm betting on the guy with red hair, he looks so… _threatening!_ " Then again, _everyone_ in the class seemed threatening to him.

Shima sighed, "I just want the girl…"

"Tough luck."

Honestly, all three of them could be the troublesome teen. The school they came from wasn't from the best areas of their town. Not to mention the school itself was known to have to have a bad reputation, so it was rather difficult to pick a single person.

Nevertheless, they were already judging him. Koneko, although he tried not to show it seemed surprisingly guarded, a sign he was scared. Shima was mostly aloof but avoided contact with any of the students and Bon… well, he just glared at anyone who was in within arm's length.

To say the least, there wasn't much room for first impressions. But when the kid came in their room after sunset, they expected a lot of things. They expected _almost_ anything even. What they didn't was some silent—not to mention slightly rude—thirteen-year-old covered in bruises.

Sure, they noticed him earlier, but out of every kid in that class, he seemed the most normal. It made them all curious, and they didn't put much effort in hiding it either; Bon looked up from his book every two seconds, Koneko stayed as far away as possible, while Shima pretended to sleep.

The blueberry-haired-idiot—as Bon decided to call him—sat on his temporary bed taking out a few crumpled papers from his bag. Suguro couldn't help but crinkle his nose in disgust when he noticed how disorganized he was. Now, he would have probably said something to him about it, but that's when the trio noticed something.

Next to the notes and crumpled papers were a few books, they couldn't see the title or anything since it was facing down, but his intentions were clear; he was _studying._ This had them questioning things, after all, if he really was a problem-student, why was he studying?

Any plan about being even slightly discreet disappeared as Ryuji stared at him for approximately sixty minutes or so. He found his gaze wandering over to the strange boy once he managed to shake the intense urge to stare. Thankfully, it seemed no one noticed, the others were doing the same.

The tallest of the Kyoto-trio couldn't help but feel like the blueberry would be way too stupid to even remark them staring anyway.

"What?" yelled the boy. It was only what seemed like forever they all jumped, startled as he slammed his book shut and glared at them all.

Bon glared back, "Ya know, it wouldn't hurt to have some manners."

The twin scoffed, "You guys are the ones staring at me for the past hour!"

"Not our fault you're being so aloof, stupid blueberry." He crossed his arms, the book long forgotten on his lap.

Rin couldn't help but snort at his words, "I have a name, and I'm sure as hell it's not blueberry."

Wincing at Rin's language, Konekomaru tried to get himself even further away from the two.

"Shoulda introduced yourself like, ya know, _normal people_ do."

Renzo sighed before putting on a nervous smile on, "Now, now, let's do this calmly…"

The half-demon turned to stare at the pinkette with slight shock written on his face. "At least your friend's not as rude as you are."

Before Bon could speak he got cut off, "I'm Renzo Shima these two are my friends, Konekomaru Miwa, and that's Ryuji Suguro."

"I'm Rin. Rin Okumura."

Koneko was rather pleasantly surprised when he saw just how quickly Okumura had calmed down in contrast to his friend. Maybe he wouldn't be so dangerous after all. Not like he was some demon.

"Nice meeting ya, you've got to excuse my friends though, we've heard you're a troublesome student, so the two were just a bit…" Shima scratched the back of his head, as if it would help him find the proper word. "Uneasy."

The half-demon suddenly burst into fits of laughter, "Pft! Troublesome? That's what they told you?"

In all honesty, it was probably the nicest thing any adult—outside of the ones he considered family—had ever used to describe him. By now, he's more or less labelled as a "Demon's Child". It used to piss him off by quite a considerable amount, but really, after he had learned about his true nature he couldn't help but simply laugh at the irony. It wasn't like it was their fault anyway.

"Well, I don't mean to be offensive," Koneko muttered, slowly showing his newfound courage, and albeit dim, it was quite considerable. "We just thought you'd be very intimidating."

He lowered his head, now staring at his feet and twiddling his thumbs, "I'm sorry."

Rin smiled. For a moment, he realized how glad he was they didn't know of his true heritage. At least not yet, and hopefully, if he could actually have it his way for once, not in a long, long time. Maybe not even ever.

"Don't worry, I get that a lot." His words, laced with not a hint of rage, hate, nor malice making the shortest in the room look up at him. His eyes no longer holding dear, in fact, there was nothing but pure curiosity. That and hope.

Bon huffed, "I'm not forgiving him."

The elder twin couldn't help but roll his eyes, could there be anyone more stubborn?

"And I never will. I hate people like him."

Although his distaste for the half-human was mostly based off of his prejudgement and some instinct, Ryuji made no attempt to get to know him. Shima talked with him most, Koneko giving him a comment or two now and then. Obviously, he was the only one on bad terms with him.

The worst part about all this was probably the fact that Suguro didn't really hate him. He was just confused by him. He's heard the teachers call him a "Demon" and talk about how violent he is. But he just couldn't see it. His grades were apparently atrocious, they weren't even in the double digits! But maybe that part wasn't too much of a surprise. The only reason it was bothersome was because of how hard he's seen him study.

To say the least, Rin Okumura was a mystery he couldn't solve. So to take his mind off of things, he was once again studying, not for school, but for his goal. Sadly, a doctor was just one meister he _could not_ get his mind to comprehend.

It's not like he was bad at it. Obviously, he had one of the best memory's out there. The only problem was that he wasn't able to distinguish the difference between herbs that hurt demons, and those that heal humans.

So he was stuck on a measly question that he couldn't even find the answer inside his book. Koneko would be back soon, so he could always ask him soon. He was pretty good with doctor although he was still aiming to be an Aria. Bon wanted not only Aria, but also dragoon. He could almost see why people called him an overachiever, but really it had nothing to do with him wanting to show off.

He just wanted to find the answer to the stupid question.

Yet, the worst only happened later when the stupid Blueberry entered the room. His hands stuffed in his pockets and his eyes doing their best as to not force him back to sleep right there. You couldn't really blame him, it _was_ five AM. Even Ryuji wouldn't make it a habit to wake up so early.

When he noticed Rin's gaze was glued to his extra work, he quickly tried hiding the stacks of paper on his desk, after all, even he wasn't cruel enough to drag the idiot into the world of demons.

"You don't need to hide them ya know." But Suguro paid him no heed as he fumbled with the pages, the questions he's been working on long forgotten on the corner of his desk.

Glancing at the unanswered questions his eyes widened, he couldn't really believe that _Ryūji_ of all people would be one to study exorcism. Then he noticed the last, unanswered question that had all sort words, erased, and noted.

Seeing how frantic the other had become, he chuckled and gave him a small smile.

"The answer's aloe."

Rin said nothing more when he left the room, his hand still buried deep into his pockets while Bon blinked, his mouth wide agape as he dropped whatever he had been holding.

When he saw Koneko later that day he asked him for the answer to that same question.

It was aloe.

* * *

 **And done with another chapter! Oh, and I've wanted to ask you guys if you've wanted any ships in the story (it can be both minor or major) or no romance at all?**

 **Word count: 4 922**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello! This is going to be the last chapter before the manga/anime related story starts. I've decided not to put any ships in the story but there might be a bit of fluff here and there, but it's mostly going to be platonic.**

 **Hope you enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Blue Exorcist.**

 **Note: Twins are 14 years old.**

* * *

Everyone knew Rin was an avid lover of sukiyaki.

So when Shiro told him they'd go out together with Yukio four years ago, he was ecstatic. If they'd gone back then, he knew it would have been one of the best times of his life. So when the old man himself canceled it, or well, as he said _postponed_ it, the elder twin was disappointed.

In fact, to say he was disappointed was probably an understatement. Still, he said he understood he had his reasons that he didn't need to apologize.

"I'm really, really sorry, Rin."

He simply shook his head, merely muttering another "It's fine."

The old man apologized one last time before he promised the boy that he'd make it up some other time. Telling him that they will go, just not now.

Now, in no way did Shiro lie or break his promise—although it may have been _slightly_ overdue—in fact, they were headed to the restaurant right now. Yet, after so long, the teen wasn't sure if it had the same impact anymore. Especially not with the voices continuously clouding his head these past few months.

He's been able to hear demons ever since he's awoken his powers. The problem was that they no longer feared his blue flames enough to leave him alone. No matter how many he burned, there were always three times as many who would come after him, and he had a sneaking suspicion someone was behind this. After all, even Col-tars wouldn't be so stupid as to endanger themselves with the impossible.

At one point, it wasn't even about the fact he had to fight them; it was their voices. They had been getting louder over the years. The worst was that he couldn't just ignore them, they were too damn persistent for him to even think about that. It wasn't until he started searching up some books in the library did he accidentally find a way to block them. It was sort of like a barrier, he would set up just to block demons from entering his mind.

The problem was that the longer he kept it, the more energy, not to mention power, it would consume. Even as a half-demon, Rin could barely keep it up for more than a few minutes without collapsing. Half the time, he'd be overworking himself and end up with nothing more than a throbbing headache and sometimes a fever.

So it was no doubt a miracle when he found out the very few places that blocked out the demons completely. One being his own home; the monastery. It wasn't much of a surprise but it made the teen make the most ridiculous excuses _just_ to stay at home. Now that he thought about it though, it shouldn't have come off as too much of a surprise seeing how the monastery was filled with skillful exorcist with all kinds of meisters.

Surprisingly, the only other place he knew that blocked the voices out was True Cross Academy. It only took those few brief moments for him to realize the bliss the Academy had offered him. He's only gone there once with Mephisto, it was barely for an hour when the clown wanted to give him a tour of the school for well, Rin didn't really know why. He just said something about "his future" and "high school."

Really, the fourteen-year-old knew he wouldn't be going to high school. Yukio and Shiro didn't know yet, but he's recently wanted to drop out for one too many reasons, the urge only getting stronger with time. Besides, school just wasn't his thing. He could get good grades if he tried, but that would mean he'd get that much more problems - and expectations to deal with. To him, school equaled stress, and he had enough of that at the moment. Like the headache slowly making its way in the half-demon's head.

He started to tug at his hair hoping to somewhat sooth the pain, only to silently curse when his efforts only managed to hurt him even more.

Yukio lifted his gaze from the phone in his hand, "Nii-san," even in this condition, Rin couldn't miss the concern lacing the other's voice. "You should stop that. At this rate, you'll be ripping your hair out."

He groaned and slowly let go of the almost-blue strands of hair—albeit begrudgingly—before taking a long, shaky breath. God, what did he do to deserve this?

"Rin?" Shiro called out, noticing how unusually silent he's been for a night out, "What's wrong?"

He closed his eyes shut for a few seconds in an effort to hold back any insults he felt like spouting, instead, merely giving the old man a meek smile. Truth was, he'd slam his head in a brick wall if the pain would go away, but it's not like he'd tell that to the old man. It's not like he _could_ tell without giving away anything.

"Nothins' wrong. You guys worry too much."

Shiro pressed his lips together, restraining himself from saying any more than he should. Noticing this, the blue-haired teen looked away in hopes they would eventually forget about it.

It didn't help that Rin could feel Yukio's calculating gaze on him as he was staring out the window. He was already starting to hear minor whispers from some higher class demons trying to get through the barrier he had set up. Thoroughly annoyed, he clenched his fist hoping some miracle could soothe the pain. Maybe it was ironic, but he just wanted some peace for once in his miserable life.

Nevertheless, there was still his rebellious attitude to take note of, and the fourteen-year-old was sure that was far from peaceful. It only worsened since he's gotten to middle school. Not to mention he'll be dropping out soon. In fact, he's started to skip classes twice as often, fought with teachers, and had surprisingly lower grades than he had before.

Then again, half the time, the test would be blank. He barely glanced at the sheet of paper. If he was in a good mood, he'd answer a question or two—the harder ones he _knew_ the average student would fail—and get them right. That and the fact it was simply a teachers dream to get rid of him were probably the only reasons he really passed.

The only teacher he's ever liked was Shura, and although he'd never admit it out loud, even Yukio was fond of her. So, of course, it didn't help when she suddenly got a top-secret mission from the Vatican and had to stay far away from both the twins and Shiro to keep them safe.

He promised her to somewhat behave, but that didn't stop the fact that trouble seemed to love following him wherever he went. Maybe he should blame his heritage for that. After all, solely knowing the fact had already brought more trouble for him than it really should. At this point, the elder Okumura didn't want to know much more.

It probably wouldn't matter too much if he did try not to get into trouble. The outcome was obvious and nothing would change. He knew because he's tried too much in the first nine years of his life he's practically given up by now.

It was weird how much this had changed him if he was the same as before he'd be fidgeting uncomfortably, start a conversation, or annoy Yukio. Now the car was consumed in silence as Rin could only think what things would - no, _could_ have been like. He didn't even want to try and crack a joke. He wasn't in the mood, he never was these last few weeks. He was just hurt. Hurt and numb.

It was only moments later Yukio finally gave up on staring and went back to his phone. The old man turned up the radio volume in hopes to ease the heavy atmosphere. Sometimes it would be like this. Especially for the past eight months. There were unanswered questions lingering in the air. Questions no one answered because no matter how painfully aware they all were they all pretended.

When they arrived, Rin took one last deep breath before getting out of the car. Thankfully, the next few minutes were enough to lighten the mood up as they pushed the recent events to the back of their minds.

"But they worked so hard on those lunches! You could have at least accepted them!" Rin protested.

The younger twin felt a shiver crawl down his spine at the mere thought. "God knows what they put in there."

"I dunno," the elder shrugged. "Maybe they just want to do something nice for you."

Yukio pondered about it for a moment or two. He never really thought of it that way, but then again, out of the two his brother had always been more naive, much more gullible to danger. Or maybe it was because he saw the good side of things instead?

"Nii-san, you're too optimistic."

Rin frowned, wondering if it was meant to be an insult or not. "Opta-what now?"

"It means you always see the good side of things." Smiling, he then asked; "Anyways, how 'bout you? Dad told me you've been getting a bit better at school."

Rin gave a smile of his own, _Better my ass._

"Yeahhh, you can say that."

Yukio raised a curious brow "Got any friends? Girlfriends?"

Now, while Rin—unlike his brother—wasn't really popular for well, the better things he had done, he was known for his naturally violent nature. Most of the time, people would just ignore him, avoiding him like the plague, especially girls. There was still no denying that he had somewhat good looks. It's just that whatever charm he had was always overlooked because of all the scars and bruises he had.

"Pft, no way." Rin snorted.

Besides, he wasn't really worthy of even being _relatively close_ to anyone. No one deserved to get close to the devil's spawn, "It doesn't really matter. You know I'm better off without them anyway."

He took a seat in front of Yukio as Fujimoto talked about something to one of the employees. "This again? Is it because you keep getting into fights that involve people you shouldn't be with?"

"Does it really matter? It's the only way I can actually be somewhat useful and make some money for the monastery."

The brunette stared at him with wide eyes, "Money!? You get _paid_ to fight?"

Oops.

"No! Well, yes but-" This probably wasn't the best time to get into this type of conversation either. His head was killing him and the barrier would only stand for a few more minutes. "Just… nevermind. Forget about it."

Unfortunately for Rin, the younger twin wouldn't let him up so easily. " _Nevermind?"_ Yukio scoffed, "You're kidding, right? Do you really expect me to do that?"

Rin bit his lip as if preventing himself from saying something that would ruin everything all over again. "It doesn't-"

"Thank god they said our food is coming soon!" Startled, they looked up to see Shiro back at the table, grinning. "It's been so long since we all went out like this, hasn't it?"

"Yeah…" He sucked in a deep breath in hopes to calm his nerves down. Realizing this, the Paladin gave a look to the younger twin, as if questioning him what happened.

"Sorry, I'm not feeling too well. Maybe I'm just hungry or somethin'." Scratching the back of his head, he then asked; "So, are we going to get sukiyaki?"

"Well, that's kind of the problem. They don't have enough ingredients left." Fujimoto gave a smile, although secretly dreading the outcome. "I ordered some sushi and tempura instead."

The older Okumura almost let out a groan, but then he remembered the tired look the two others had last time he threw a tantrum over food. So he settled with a shrug and gave him an—albeit smaller than it should have been—content smile, "No biggie, we could always get sukiyaki some other time. Or I could even make it at home."

His brother seemed surprised, "You sure? You seemed really excited yesterday."

True to his words, Rin was eager, but it's not like it was their fault they couldn't eat the best food in the world.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Really, I'm just happy to be with you guys."

Yukio sighed in relief, that at least, was a sign they meant something to him. Albeit his brother never deserved the cold attitude he would give him since childhood, the younger of the two couldn't help but wonder if Rin even cares half the time. So rare moments like this always reassured him a great deal. It made him feel stupid for even doubting Rin, after all, they were twins.

After a few more petty arguments and amusing taunts, their food arrived. The Shiro and the other twin immediately started eating, and the half-human wished he could do the same, but none of the other two knew about Rin's problems. He was sure of that much, and he couldn't just tell them now either. When he noticed Shiro's gaze lingering on him longer than it should, he knew he had to take a bite.

So he did.

Maybe this would be one of the better days? When he felt fine he took another one.

Then his stomach started screaming.

He pressed his lips together—mostly out of habit now that he was used to this cycle—barely registering the way his fist clenched at his sides. He hated this. All of it. Even after a year, he still couldn't eat properly. He didn't even know why. All he did know was that the strong urge to puke could only grow stronger by the minute.

Noticing the worried looks the two were giving, he spoke, "I just need to use the bathroom. I'll be back soon."

He didn't even wait for them to reply. If they did he wouldn't be able to go, and Rin didn't want to know what would happen if that was the case. Thankfully, few were at the restaurant at this time of day, meaning the restroom itself was mostly empty with the occasional person or two coming every now and then.

Really, he barely even registered to close the door before the contents came up. The familiar smell of acid filling his nostrils in the most unpleasant ways, causing him to groan in displeasure afterward. The aftertaste of sushi was replaced with his own vomit as he could only stand there, panting, and making futile attempts to control his breathing.

Cleaning, both himself and the stall, he felt any energy he's previously had slowly leaking, leaving him tired beyond exhaustion. Even a mere glance at the mirror proved it; bags lined his eyes, his face was paler than usual, and his hair twice as messy. It's not like he could do anything to help it. Honestly, he barely felt like standing up.

His bed at the monastery seemed like a really good place to be. It didn't matter how uncomfortable the bed could be and how often it creaked. He could just lay down, no longer needing to do his best just to keep the voices at bay.

Then he remembers why they were here in the first place: because he didn't look good, because it was becoming way too obvious he wasn't fine, the worst was that he was in no place he could lie. Sure, Rin could avoid, maybe pretend, but there was no way he could lie. He sucked at that. It was obvious every time he told others "I'm fine" because they knew he wasn't.

That didn't mean he stopped, showing just how broken he really was. He kept insisting, he was used to it now. It was like a mantra he would repeat over, and over again. It's nothing others haven't done before. The problem was that they seemed to know how to do it. There was something they did he wasn't, but he couldn't pinpoint _what_.

He needed to get a hold of himself. He never cared what others thought about him. Sure he'd be jealous about his old man and Yukio. All the teen wanted was to be with them, right next to them when they fought their demons.

He knew his jumble of thoughts were no excuse for him to be an idiot either. Of course, Rin knew better, it's not like he was one to fall so easily. No matter how much people pushed the half-demon he got up. He held his ground, and nothing had changed that.

If that was the case, what made things so different _now_?

He just didn't get it. Maybe it was the demons, or even the fact that he found out that people he had been trusting most were plotting behind his own back. Leaving him in the dark, practically betraying him. Then again, there's always the fact _he's_ always labeled the problem, no matter the situation, if that's the case then was he just exaggerating everything?

Putting a hand on the wall to steady himself, he took a shaky breath, then groaned at the sudden pain filling his head once more. Without thinking he pulled on his hair again, soon regretting it, before contemplating the action for a few more minutes. He couldn't think straight at the moment because he was tired. Tired and sluggish.

It was such a contrast to when he's been a kid, so full of energy. He missed those days. Now, all Rin could do was wish for things to be as simple as then. That way, he would be simple-minded and oblivious to everything around him. What would it be like if he was happy? If he was smiling? He forgot everything about that, how he looked like when doing it, and how it felt like.

Slowly, he forced the corners of his lips to rise, flexing the muscles of his cheeks almost painfully. His eyes crinkled, and his teeth shone. If it were any other circumstance, he'd be laughing at how fake it was. Who'd believe such a thing? It was a pure lie, and yet, in no way deceiving.

It disgusted him.

Soon enough the door opened, revealing a man seemingly a couple years older than himself. When his eyes landed on the half-human he smiled.

"Had a good day?"

 _H-he thinks I'm happy?_

This had to be a joke, yet, when he noticed the stranger showed no signs of doubt, realization struck him. That's what others had done. It's okay if their smile wasn't genuine, hell it could be sickeningly fake for all others knew. The question was why? Why were others so easy to fool? Were they really fooled in the first place?

Was it what they wanted to see?

As the other guy washed his hands, the elder twin gave him a cheerful, albeit rather delayed "Yeah!" in reply. Perturbed himself as to how easily the cheerful tone came out. Was that all? Was it really all? A harmless smile, an empty laugh, a misleading voice?

Nothing else was said between as the man washed his hands and left, while Rin stared at the mirror in front of him, lost in his thoughts. He wanted to test his newfound 'knowledge' on the old man and Yukio. So when he got back to the two, he immediately noticed how Yukio stopped chewing his food and Shiro's dubious expression when he gave a smile of his own.

Still, they fell for it. Because people were self-centered, because they hated dealing with things that could be avoided, and really, there was no blaming them. No matter what, in the end, he was half-human too, so he was just as selfish, as self-centered. In fact, it was worse for him; he was a demon, he didn't feel emotions like others did.

Maybe he deserved it? He never did much good to others, the rare moments he did he never got acknowledged for it. It was probably no surprise they never told him anything, he'd mess everything up if he was with them, in fact, he already was. He's better off alone anyways, he's always done everything that way, without anyone's help.

He wanted them to be happy if it means he had to put on that disturbingly fake smile then so be it. He'd take this stupid game where they're all _pretending_ to another level. Maybe along the way, he could even trick himself so he'd forget about the pain as he pretended for not only others but now also himself.

He wasn't sure. He never was, but he knew that whatever happened, no one should feel the pain he was. Not to mention that _no one_ deserved to get even a mere glimpse of his messed up thoughts. Because that meant they'd get caught in this horrible mess.

In the end, he knew that even he wasn't so selfish as to get others involved in this.

* * *

Yukio loved going to the exorcist supply shop because that meant he could see _her_ , his first friend.

There are very few people Yukio could feel comfortable with, not to mention even fewer he could trust. Shiemi Moriyama was definitely one of them, and she was pretty high on his list of people he could confide in too.

His brother was also one of them. At least, he used to be. When they were younger, Rin had always been there to protect him. It made it so that even now, there was this type of comfort only he would be able to give him. So he told him everything, at first anyway. It's just that everything changed as he became seven.

It used to be the same with Rin too. He knew it was. As kids, there were always times they'd stay up late at night, telling each other every single secret. Those were the best moments, but then God knows what happened when they were seven because the elder twin was slowly changing, he became distant, there were never those late night talks anymore. Hell, forget anything about talks, they barely even fucking looked at each other anymore.

It certainly didn't help that Yukio was forced to keep secrets himself. He didn't want to, but he had to keep silent and pretend they were happy. Actually, you could forget being happy, he had to pretend that his own brother was _human._ That they were normal.

Sure, Yukio himself—as long as you ignored the fact he was Satan's son—was normal, but his brother wasn't. Forget about the fact he was a half-demon, he had the notorious flames, and the younger twin just didn't know how to feel about that. At first, he started to ignore his brother. Yet later he realized it's not like anything changed, they were the same people, the same beings, but now that he knew what the other was, he didn't know what to think. Knowing the elder twins nature scared Yukio.

It wasn't until after a countless number of times the half-demon saved him did he realize there wasn't the slightest bit of ill-intent in him. Then he got guilty because everyone had been shunning Rin thinking he was the worst thing alive. Even some of the newer priest at the monastery would stay as far away as possible from the teen.

So it was a miracle he met Shiemi during the darker times he and Rin were distant, to the human twin she was like a gift from God. She listened to him when he talked about things he feared, wondered, and wanted. In return, he became her friend and did everything he could to help the rough situation she had with her mother.

She loved her grandmother a lot, and she told him that in the future, she wanted to find the garden of Amahara for her. That's when he promised her he'd be there, with her, and that they'd find it together so she'd never be alone.

They'd gotten so close that at this point, they told each other almost everything there was, and he was starting to wonder if he could ask her for some advice about Rin.

"You know, I really admire you, Yuki-chan. You're so talented, not to mention you've _already_ become an exorcist!"

His eyes widened, "Are you sure? I mean, it's not like my situation is ideal."

"Really? Why not?"

She stopped watering the flowers for a moment, staring at him in hopes he would tell her the truth. "It's just… Things get complicated."

"Yuki-chan," she put down the watering can, listening to him attentively, "If everything is pressuring you then it's okay to-"

"That's not it."

She blinked, _what else could it be?_

"I have a brother, a twin brother, and he's amazing. He's done so much for me…"

"But?"

"But ever since a few years ago, he's changed." He took a sharp breath, hoping the tears pricking his eyes would disappear.

"He's the same great guy, the thing is, he's growing distant. Too distant. And I feel like it's my fault."

She nodded, "Is he going to True Cross Academy too?"

The younger twin snorted, "I doubt it, he's too much of a delinquent."

"A delinquent? What's that?"

Yukio almost forgot how she grew up isolated from everyone else. Shiemi was a shy girl, not to mention she was awfully sick as a child.

"Ah, nothing. You shouldn't bother yourself with it."

"But Yuki-chan, if you don't tell me I won't be able to help you."

He gave her a small smile, then sighed, "He always gets into fights. He doesn't go to his classes and skips them." He sucked in another breath, this one shaky.

"The worst part of this all is that I don't even _know_ my brother."

Shiemi didn't say anything as she pondered about Yukio's brother. At times like this, she knew it was best to stay silent and let him rant.

"I just hope he doesn't try and become an exorcist."

That quickly caught her attention, "Why not?"

"He might die."

It didn't make sense, why was Yukio so scared? What made his brother so different? "By Demons? Isn't it the same for you though?"

"No, no. Not by demons." Shiemi was curious, this was the first time Yukio was so hesitant. Just who was this mysterious brother?

His face held little to no emotion, it almost looked like he didn't know the answer himself.

"He's different. Really different."

* * *

Rin sat on the swing weakly pushing himself back and forth, his head focused on the ground.

He always came to the park when his mind was clouded. It brought back some of his the better memories during their childhood. Life never was one to be kind to him. Everything would just become so confusing, then it'd hurt, but the pain never went away, it was like a scar in the back of his mind.

When footsteps approached, he took it for some kid wanting to swing, until he noticed there was no way those footsteps could belong to an excited midget.

"Your power…"

The elder Okumura looked up at the voice, only to see a man with the brightest shade of blonde hair he had ever seen. His face was hidden behind a mask, giving him a mysterious, yet unmistakably dangerous aura.

"… Heh, for a second I almost thought you were really _him_."

Something in the back of Rin's mind was screaming at him to run away, that he should stay as far away from this man as possible. But it was like his mind and body weren't cooperating. Then from the corner of his eye, he noticed the man holding a brown bag in his right hand.

"Who are you!?" he clutched the metal bars tightly, hoping he wasn't showing how scared he really was.

"My name is Lucifer." Rin bit his lips in an attempt to keep his mouth shut. Because even he knew this was no ordinary man. Hell, this wasn't a man in the first place, long nights of continuous studying were enough to prove him that much. Besides, he already met Samael, so what were the odds of meeting yet another demon king?

"But the real question here is; who are _you?_ "

He tried inching away as far as he could, there was just so much raw energy and power coming from him it was no wonder why the elder twin was so afraid.

"M' Rin. Rin Okumura."

The blond furrowed his eyebrows, there was no doubt this boy held power similar to their own father, but there was not a sign of him possessing some sort of demonic heritage whatsoever. _Is this boy really human?_

He watched the fourteen-year-old trying to hide his fear as he took a step forward.

"Stop! Don't get close!"

The stronger of the two clicked his tongue in pure annoyance before defying his words and taking another step towards the young teen.

It was only in the next ten seconds everything had started to make sense as the boy exploded in the legendary blue flames. The same ones their own father possessed.

"So you're father's last son…"

It was a statement, not a question. A shiver ran through Rin as he realized his possibly deadly mistake, but before he could even think about running away, a hand grabbed his shoulder.

"Don't worry, I won't hurt you."

He tensed, "Let me go! Or I - I'll burn you!"

That's when Lucifer started to _laugh_ as if he just made some joke, "Burn me? You may have father's flames but not even the weakest demon king is scared of you."

Rin gulped, "If that's the case then what are you going to do then?"

The other stared at him, all expression leaving his face as he smoothly dodged his question, "You can hear them right? The demons? They must be such a bother to you."

So he knew?

"Yeah. So what?"

"Here; take these." He handed out the brown package to him, and Rin carefully tore it open only to see a bunch of small pill bottles.

"Each pill can block out the demon's for about a day or two."

The older twin was dumbfounded at that. A day or two of freedom? Pft. Surely there was more to this.

"Why?" He didn't get it. Not two minutes ago he wanted to run away, he'd even fight him if he needed to. Still, the demon stood tall as if it was totally natural.

"Because I'm just like you."

He clutched the brown bag, for a second it almost seemed as if time froze, and before he knew it, the king of light had vanished without another word. Honestly, if it wasn't for what he had in his hands he'd have thought it was all a dream. A really, really bad dream.

Suddenly, Rin then noticed how uncomfortably _loud_ the demons were getting. The familiar headaches coming back, pounding.

He barely registered opening the first container as he swallowed the pill and was met with nothing but pure silence, and for the first time in awhile, bliss.

* * *

Now, as much as Rin was happy to receive a box full of those 'magical' pills, Lucifer could have in the very least warned him about how it would also prevent him from using any of his demonic capabilities. He was sort of dependent on them by now, so not being able to use his abnormal strength and all was a pretty big disadvantage on it's own.

He wasn't going to lie, the pills were great and generally caused more harm than good—for now anyways—so it's not like he was going to stop using them because of his capabilities being blocked. Still, the demon king really should have put some sort of list filled with all the warnings he needed, because finding out about after effects yourself is not pretty.

It's nothing too bad. Just a ridiculous amount of energy drained. That and his healing his worse than even your average human for a few hours in the very least.

He knew it wasn't like he had an unlimited amount of pills to use anyway. Not to mention they really weren't the best solution ever, so he put them as a last resort. Besides, when it came down to it, staying at the monastery was way better, that way he could just sleep.

It's just that sometimes, Rin wished life could be—even if only a little—nicer to him. Just like this very moment at the dinner table.

"So, Yukio, do you have any plans for high school?"

Swallowing down the rice he'd been chewing, he replied to Maruta "Well, I'll probably be going to True Cross Academy."

"Whoa? Seriously?" as the priest all gave astonished looks to one another, Shiro couldn't help but feel proud of his younger adopted son.

"Yeah, I'll be taking the entrance exam pretty soon too."

Nagatomo grinned, "That great! What about you, Rin?"

 _Should I tell them?_

"Erm, I-"

"It shouldn't be too hard to find a school for you, I mean, there are actually a lot of public high schools in the area."

Biting his lip, he kept silent as Maruta nodded in agreement. "Mhm, besides, if you try I'm sure you could get somewhat decent grades too. Hey, maybe you'll even end up in the same school as Yukio!"

Oh great not this again. It was normal for the twins to get compared, and most of the time, the elder never really minded. It's just that school itself was another matter altogether, he didn't need it to ruin his life more than this. Sure, Yukio was his twin and an awesome brother, but that didn't mean Rin had to be his spitting image. They weren't even identical twins for God's sake!

As much as he loved his brother, it was annoying. The worst was he couldn't necessarily deny any of it either. In a year, Yukio would be leaving to TCA and him? Rin was going to drop out - something he still didn't tell anyone.

He couldn't help but sigh, today really wasn't a good day for him—not that he really had any good days—he skipped classes again only to receive _another_ scolding from the old man and Yukio. It'd be about how he'd never try, about how if he even had an inkling of his brother's brain he'd be in a situation at least three times better than his current.

He was the delinquent, the kid you stayed far away from. Meanwhile, his younger brother was the straight-A kid that every parent wanted. Yukio was the golden child, and Rin, no matter how jealous, would never want to take that away from him.

"Does it really matter?" The blue haired teen asked.

Izumi looked at him questioningly, "What do you mean by that?"

"Erm, well, I mean it's just that I don't think that me getting a good education is that impor-"

Shiro cut him off, "Of course it is, Rin! Didn't I already tell you? I won't always be there for you, one day, you'll have to take care of yourself."

Rin gritted his teeth in frustration.

"Yeah," Kyodo nodded, "We're just worried for you. Do you even have any plans for the future?"

"Sort of…"

Izumi raised a brow, "Sort of?"

"Well, like for high school n' all." Rin wasn't too sure about all this, of course, he trusted everyone at the church but that also meant he cared and didn't want to disappoint them—which he was doing a pretty bad job at.

"You know where you want to go?" Maruta suggested.

"Uhm, I guess it depends how you see it, really."

Why couldn't he just say a few simple words? Did it matter that much to them? Or was it because he was embarrassed, and didn't want another lecture.

Shiro sighed in relief, "I'm so glad we won't have to worry about that then!"

"Erm, well, maybe you should hear me out first."

God, this was much harder than it should be. He really wished he made better choices in life, but maybe the better things just weren't meant to be for him. It could have been some bad karma from his past life or whatever.

"What if I said I wanted to, I dunno, maybe… drop out?"

The table was silent. A contrast to no more than seconds ago where everyone had gotten excited about the twins futures. It was none other than Shiro who broke the silence.

"What?" he choked out.

The half-demon scratched the back of his head and hesitated about what he was going to say next,"I mean, school's not really my thing, ya know?"

Everyone stayed silent, watching the slowly rising argument between the two.

The Paladin pinched the bridge of his nose. It's not like he could blame him, he never used to be the best student either, but to drop out? "If that's the case then what would you do later? Live on the streets?"

"I don't know? I'll figure it out somehow."

That's when Yukio stepped in, "Nii-san, you can't be serious…"

The older Okumura sucked in a deep breath, this wasn't going the way he thought it would, but it was a better start regardless. Really, at first he was sure they'd probably go as far as disowning him or something, but then he saw the look in Shiro's eyes, and he understood he'd _never_ even think of such a thing. Hopefully, that is.

"I am, I know it's not ideal, but I'll work part-time jobs or something. Maybe I'll even be a chef?"

The younger of the two pursed his lips. If that was the case it'd only mean he'd be seeing his brother _even less_ than he already was. Not to mention with him going to True Cross and becoming a teacher he'd only get busier. At best, they'd see each other on holidays, but even then there was his job as an exorcist.

"But what abo-"

"Okay."

Everyone turned to stare at Shiro, wide-eyed, Rin couldn't help but gawk, "Really? You mean it?"

"Yeah. _But,_ " _Great_ , the half-human groaned. _More conditions._ "Promise me, as soon as Junior High ends you'll start searching and you _will_ get a job. I don't care what it is, just the sooner the better."

He bit the inside of his cheek, "I'm not sure if I can get one, right away though,"

"It's the condition, you idiot. Promise me or you'll be going to school."

The old man's eyes were serious, they didn't hold any of the amusement Rin was used to seeing. "Fine, fine. I promise you."

Shiro visibly relaxed at that, "Good, now eat up and go to sleep," his gaze lingered a second too long before he spoke again; "I need to talk to you tomorrow. It's important."

The blueberry haired teen paused for a second before taking hurried steps upstairs.

 _What the fuck was that about?_

* * *

As usual, Rin couldn't sleep. There was just that gnawing feeling.

It was all because of that dream again. The one with Satan staring at him, his lips moving as he tried saying something. Sometimes, he'd use his hands, like he was using sign language or whatever, yet no matter what, he was always covered in those wretched blue flames.

Somehow, the elder twin finds himself covered in them too, a constant reminder of just what his relationship with the demon really was. Still, what really irked the half-demon was that he would always wake up in the middle of his dream—or was it the end?—as he was about to get presumably killed by his own father.

But this time, _this time_ was different. He was hit, his abdomen screaming, but he didn't wake up, he was left there in pain as Satan smiled,a sinister smile, as he approaching him.

He tried to back away—albeit he failed—until suddenly, he felt a warm sensation where he was hit. Satan was still there, smiling, and when he looked, he saw his injury was healed, he was healed but it scarred.

His injuries never scarred.

That's when he suddenly woke up, sweating and panting. It was three in the morning, and everything seemed to be normal at first, Yukio's bed was empty as always because of his training and Rin felt nauseous like every other time he woke up from the same, stupid dream.

Then he noticed it. The sharp pain at his side, he gulped, and slowly lifted his shirt, thankful for his enhanced vision. Sure enough, no matter how many times he checked, in no matter what lightning, there was a scar placed right where he had been attacked, right where the pain was being felt.

Just what in the world was happening to him _this time?_

* * *

At first, Rin was anticipating his adoptive father's so-called 'talk'.

Yet, that was at first. Now, as they sat at the table, the bluish-black haired teen wasn't so sure if that was still the case.

"So, what did you want to talk about again?"

"Rin," Fujimoto started, smiling a bit, but it wasn't the ones the elder twin grew familiar with. This own almost seemed… Sad?

"You know a lot, don't you?"

He bit the inside of his gums, "What are you talking about? Silly old man."

Shiro sighed, "I'm being serious here. You know things you aren't supposed to, don't you?" After a long pause, he added; "Like your biological dad."

The elder Okumura averted his eyes. Of course, he knew, there's no way Rin would be able to get away with something as big as this. Dammit, he had to do a better job at keeping his mask.

"Well, I guess I can't really _deny_ that."

Shiro took his mug full of coffee and stared at it as if it'd give him the answers to all these questions. The same ones Rin had always been fearing to hear.

"How long did you know?"

Biting the inside of his cheeks he hesitantly replied, "A few years… Seven years actually."

"Seven!? Rin, why didn't you say anything?"

He shrugged, "I'm not doing anything you two haven't."

Is that why he was always so distant and secretive? Because they were hiding things from him? Because they wanted to protect him?

"You don't understand, we wanted to _protect_ you."

The teen snorted, "Protect me?" He suddenly sprang up from his seat. He was too tired to deal with this mess. This conversation barely started and it was already giving him a bigger headache then the demons do. Really, he doesn't want to face this.

"Look. Old man. There's no point in this, let's just forget about it." He noticed the slightly hurt look on Shiro's face. What he _didn't_ see was the understanding coming after it.

Now that he thought about it though, didn't he say the same to Yukio?

" _Just… nevermind. Forget about it."_

" _You're kidding, right? Do you really expect me to do that?"_

"Okay. I'll drop it,"

Rin sighed, they both knew that there was an implied; 'for now anyway'

"But you can't run away from your problems forever, and you can't make people forget."

Running? Sure, he doesn't want to face his problems but…

Shiro smiled, "So toughen up, you shrimp."

He always hated it as a kid. Everyone he's ever known would run away from him one way or another. Now him? What was he running away from anyways? Himself? Hah. That actually sounded plausible. He was literally the son of the devil, so it can't be that much of a surprise, no matter how human he was as well.

That's why he couldn't understand why the _Paladin_ of all people was showing him kindness. It wasn't even mercy or pity. Just kindness and all sorts of plain old emotions he probably never would have understood without him and Yukio.

The fourteen-year-old couldn't help but slightly smile at the thought, "Shut up, one day I'll show you, stupid old man."

Even now, it made him feel warm, happy as if he belonged.

So why did it have to stop? Is this really the only reason they got distant? For some stupid power. Or was it because of his heritage?

Rin stared at Shiro, clenching his fist before gently closing the door shut.

Decidedly, he'll ask one day. Just not today.

* * *

 **For chapter 5, I'll try doing my best so it's not a copy of the original story, since well, I know it's just not fun to read a story in which we already know what happens. It might take a bit longer, but I'll post it sooner than I've posted chapter 4 since I'm on summer break now. :)**

 **Word count: 7892**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello! New chapter :D I've wanted to thank everyone who's followed/favorited/reviewed the story, you have no idea how happy it makes me.**

 **Hope you enjoy!**

 **I don't own Blue Exorcist.**

* * *

For the life of him, Rin Okumura just couldn't—didn't want to—make sense of what was going on.

He couldn't hold back the tears, he didn't even try to. Even as he swung back and forth on his favorite swing on that rainy day, he could only feel numb at the realization that everything was his fault. Because he let his guard down whenever he was with Shiro because he took him for granted because he couldn't be a better _son_ ; he never was. Not once during all those times. The thing is that this time, he couldn't just say fuck it and leave it all behind, saying that he'll fix it _next time._

Because now, there might not even be a next time.

And that hurt. A lot.

The worst was that the memories, every single one of them, were playing inside his head over and over again. As if they were a dull reminder of what he'd done. Of how powerless he was, of and how ignorant, and how stupid he always acted.

Still, this time he had to do at least _something._ He couldn't just mourn over what happened. So he decided he'd let the memories replay one last time, before finally letting them go. Then he could figure out what he'd wanted to do.

* * *

 **A few hours earlier.**

It was common knowledge to everyone who lived in True Cross Town that Reiji Shiratori just didn't like Rin.

That was fine though because the latter wasn't a fan of his either. In fact, over the years, he learned to expect a lot of things from him, out of which none were positive.

He was generally known for a lot of those things too; he harassed and killed animals, was part of a dangerous gang, was rich but wasted a lot of his money on alcohol, and even got into fights, which just so happens to be exactly how he met Rin. Needless to say, the elder twin won by a long shot. More than once. This morning though, he wasn't expecting for everything to go wrong this time around. Besides, the bastard was killing pigeons for God's sake! What else was he supposed to do?

"This guys is nuts! Seriously nuts!"

Frightened, they scrambled far away from him as fast as possible. "He's a demon! Let's get outta here!"

Really, his biggest concern back then was nothing but the old man's lecture about how he's always so violent and rash.

"Rin! Why are you so hot-headed? Can't you just think before resorting to violence?"

The elder twin groaned but otherwise didn't protest. Over the years he learned that staying silent always meant the lecture ended sooner. Shiro rubbed the bridge of his nose, mostly in frustration. Yet the fifteen-year-old saw just how tired he looked. It wasn't the first time either, these past few days, the old man seemed to be particularly exhausted.

"Look. How about this; an acquaintance of mine runs a restaurant and he needs an apprentice. He said he'll interview you if you're interested."

Now of course back then he refused the job. He wasn't responsible, not even respectable enough for that kind of responsibility. Had been asked to do it now though, now he'd do any job the old man asked him too if he would just wake up. Which obviously wasn't going to happen anytime soon.

The Paladin's gaze hardened. "Why not? You're good at cooking, even _Mephisto_ said so! This job is perfect for you!"

He should have listened — to both him and Yukio. It was too late now. He couldn't do anything, his own brother probably hated him. Surprisingly, the thought made him emit nothing more than a bitter laugh. His brother was practically an angel, and this was all Rin's fault, he had every right to hate him. More so than ever before. Because the half-demon was always so selfish, so stupid, and so weak. Even after training so much, he couldn't protect the ones he loved because _they_ were always the ones protecting _him_.

They always compared the two brothers, it really couldn't be helped, but thought he knew that fact, he just had to lose control over his emotions. "I - I know that already!" Because he couldn't just handle them always telling him to; "Take Yukio as an example."

Still, that was nowhere near how horrible his day had been. After being scolded by the—smarter—twin and refusing to work at the stupid restaurant once more, he decided to take a walk to his sanctuary; the park. By then, the day had just been nothing but shitty for the teen. His fond childhood memories were practically centered around the place, so it did manage to calm him down a bit. He wondered how everything seemed so black and white back then, there was no confusion it was either a yes or a no, love or hate, happy or sad.

Maybe it's because back then he was innocent? Or naive? Honestly, he couldn't imagine how his life would have gone had he never overheard the conversation between the old man and his brother. Really, he'd have probably been living a normal life, maybe he would have even had a few friends too.

Just like Yukio.

In all honesty, he had no idea what was going with the younger twin's social life. He's heard a bunch of things about him, like how he's so smart, popular with girls and all, but he doesn't really know him. Hell, he doesn't talk to him all that much anymore - excluding all the times Rin's been tutored by him. But it still made him feel somewhat awkward, just because it didn't actually feel like they were brothers anymore.

Maybe they could fix that one day, maybe in the future, they'd both be fighting alongside each other against demons. Did Yukio think about that when they were kids? Maybe. It'd be cool though, wouldn't it? The two of them as exorcist fighting together. But noooo _,_ life doesn't like simple. It can't just be the two of them happy, he can't just magically fix everything with his dad, he can't just get rid of all these stupid problems, nor can he really smile and push everything deep, deep down within another part of his mind.

To say the least, he admired the human twin, he wanted to be him, yet he knew he couldn't so he was content with being happy for him and doing the last thing he could; protect him. He knows everyone wants that; for the younger twin to be happy, he does too, the problem was, now, Yukio doesn't need help anymore. He's grown up and strong. He was perfect. It made Rin sure that Shiro would abandon him one day because he was the rotten one out of the two.

However, when Reiji and his gang came to Rin in the pretense of wanting to talk with him, he couldn't guess how bad it'd get. He knew the white-haired-sadist wasn't exactly jovial in his presence, but he never expected him to get possessed of all things! Much less by Astroth. Really, he always came off as a rather strong-willed person. Then again, it's not like the half-demon knew him all that well. The hatred Reiji had for the other seemed to be deeper than expected too. In the end, it turned out he got possessed by Astroth. Who conversed with him in not the gentlest way possible, even for a demon of his caliber.

"So the rumors _are_ true, huh." he wore an inhumanely sinister grin, his tail swaying behind him.

Rin bit the inside of his cheek. He had to get far away from here, fast. Alas, there was little room for struggle seeing the demon's firm grip on him. His flames were already running wild but his access to them was little, seeing how the sword hadn't been unsheathed, and therefore he still hasn't awakened. His energy was running low due to the effect of the pills wearing off soon, there was no way he could even hope to be on par with the King Of Rot.

Still, that didn't mean he would stop trying. The half-demon pushed, and kicked but that only made Astroth harden his grip.

His futile attempts were rewarded with a low deathly chuckle. "Go ahead and struggle all you want, but I can assure you it's pointless."

Trying to thug himself away from the others hands he glared, "Shut up already!"

"We don't have much time," annoyed, the stronger of the two clicked his tongue, "Lord Satan awaits us, young master."

Was this it? Was he just going to get dragged into Gehenna without seeing his family again? Without facing all his problems? He shut his eyes in fear and made a quick prayer to the Heaven's, his struggle quickly dwindling by the second as he felt a hand grab a fistful of his hair. For a second, it almost felt like that night all over again. The one where he found out he was a demon, the one where everything just seemed to go wrong afterward. It was the same all over again; he was powerless. This time though, even his flames couldn't help him get out of this situation.

For a split second, the half-demon thought he heard footsteps, and hesitantly he opened a single eye, only for both to shot opened with surprise, but most of all relief. The demon stared at him, confused, "What is it?" but Rin didn't need to say anything.

"There is evil in their hearts..."

Soon enough, the youngest there was left lying on the ground, numb for reasons he didn't know himself. He felt guilty, even after all the fights, all the times he simply disregarded the priest, he was still there, fighting for him without concern of his own life. Weakly, he croaked out in a voice that didn't sound like his usual one, "Father Fujimoto…?"

He merely glanced at the elder twin, comforting him with his smile, as if saying " _It's gonna be alright."_

"...O, lord. Reward them according to their evil deeds. Repay the works of their hands." as if something clicked in him, Astroth let out a loud screech as if he were in pain.

"Avenge thyself upon them." lunging himself at the Paladin, the demon king ran at full speed, only for Shiro to successfully dodge him, continuing the verse, "Strike them down, so they never rise again. Blessed be the lord."

He tried striking once more, "I _swear_ I'll rip that mouth right off your face, filthy exorcist!"

"My prayer has been answered," grabbing the other's right arm, Shiro flipped him in hopes to get himself more time to successfully finish the incantation. "The lord is my help, and my shield!"

Giving one last look at the white-haired demon, he finished, "Thou shalt be destroyed!" with a loud thump, the teen fell on the floor, and the exorcist's gaze softened as it landed on Rin.

"Are you okay?" he asked, concern lacing his voice.

"I-I think so, yeah…" Groaning at the pain, he did his best to get up, ignoring the burning sensation numbing his leg.

For a long moment, he felt the old man's gaze on him, as if calculating his every move. The younger of the two flinched a few times as he kept trying to move, while he healed the others gaze.

"What? Are you going to ask about the flames now? Bring another one of your _serious discussions_ about how I should be more careful." he mocked.

Lord, he really was a jerk. This man just saved his life and this is how he says thanks? The hurt on the other's face was concealed, but Rin knew better, these past years he's been doing the same thing. Over, and over again. "Look. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

Shiro watched wordlessly, almost as if there was something he's been contemplating, "I-I mean, I'm just a little shocked by everything that happened… Ya know?"

Unable to face his adoptive father, he stared at his feet, twiddling his thumbs in the process. However, he was soon flooded with relief when he heard a barely audible chuckle. Glancing up, he noticed the worry still strong in the other's eyes, but this time, there was also empathy and slight amusement. His guilt doubled, even if the Paladin didn't say it yet, they both knew he forgave him.

"It's okay," he sighed. "We have to hurry though, you need to pack your things and call Mephisto, my _trusted_ friend."

Rin blinked a few times in surprise. "Mephisto?" But the surprises didn't stop there, " _Pack_?"

"Now that Astroth has found you, there's no doubt only more demons will be coming. We need to get you somewhere safe as soon as possible."

Oh. So that's how it was going to be. He wasn't going to be lectured, he wasn't going to end up being questioned, nor will Yukio know about this. Instead, he was going to start running again. Were the voices going to get louder too now? Would he still be able to see his family? Hell, scratch that, where would he even go?

Hesitantly, he let himself get dragged back to the monastery. Everything was happening way too fast for him to keep up. Less than an hour ago everything was normal, but then Shiratori started spouting _shit_ about his brother and he just snapped. Now, look where that got him; back to square one.

"There's no time to waste. I'll give you the kurikara once we get in, a sword that seals your powers, don't open it, if you do, you can never live as a normal human again and the key is -"

Opening the front doors of the monastery Rin snorted, "We both know I'm more than capable of defending myself. Time isn't an issue, no matter how many demons come at the moment, the barriers can hold out for the rest of the night too." Taking a shaky breath he bitterly added, "Or do you really wanna get rid of me so fast?"

There he saw it again, the raw _hurt_ ruling over every other expression on Shiro's face. Yet, in contrast to the twin, his voice was soft, "Do you really think so little of me, Rin?"

"I - I didn't mean it like that…" he started. "It's just that, 'm always making all sorts of trouble, so aren't ya happy to get rid of me? I'm not like Yukio."

The old man sighed, "Idiot. Once you're at True Cross, you and I are going to be havin' a talk. And there's no running away from it this time."

"But it's not like I want to go there —"

Shiro cut him off. "You don't have a choice really. The Vatican will be informed of Astaroth's 'visit' so right now, only Mephisto would be able to cover your true identity from them."

"I don't want to go to high school though. Anyways, I don't have the qualifications to go to TCA."

"You'll be going to cram school, your grades won't matter as much that way."

Rin paused as he was to retort. _Did he really just say that?_

"What? You're kidding… There's no way I could become an exorcist, that'll only make my identity known twice as fast."

Shiro shook his head as he shoved a sword in Rin's hands, a bag ready and lying at his feet, the Kamikakushi key now around his neck. "That's where you're wrong. I mean, the last thing the Vatican would expect is the son of Satan trying to become an exorcist. Plus you have the sword Shura gave you, there's barely any need for you to show your flames."

Taking one last shaky breath, Rin tried to make his thoughts clear. "B- but, what about you? And Yukio?"

"From now on, Yukio's going to become your teacher, I'm going to stay at the monastery for a bit since I have a few things to take care seeing as I'm Paladin. I might not be able to see you for a while but Mephisto will be able to take care of you — "

"So you're just going to be abandoning me now that you know the seal is broken?"

"What!? No! Rin, I could only raise you as long as you stayed human! But I'm still going to come back after I'm done with all my chores!"

"Didn't you say you wanted me to get a job no matter how much I refused? What happened to that?"

The elder-twin was shaking. He was scared. He was scared that Shiro's real intention was never to raise him as a son. That he never really cared about him. That he really did like Yukio more than him because the former was human and he _wasn't_. That one of the two most important people in his life saw him as a monster. Just like everyone else did. That's why, this whole time, his emotions kept jumping back and forth, right and left.

"Rin! I'm doing this to protect you! Where is all of this coming from!?"

"Protect me? Hah, funny. Because from what I understand all you're doing right now is kicking me out!"

Seeing the expressionless face Fujimoto wore, he continued; "You don't care about me, do you? I should have known…"

Rin's bangs covered his face, blocking his view and therefore missing the Paladin's clenched fists. "Unlike Yukio, I wasn't perfect. I was too much trouble!"

"Rin. Stop. You have the wrong idea here."

"Shut up and admit it already! You're just sick and tired of pretending to be my father aren't you!?"

At his words, Shiro's eyes seemed to have understood a new part of Rin. Of course, he knew he was insecure, but he just never imagined his sense of self-worth was so low. For a small moment he pondered on the subject; _Is it my fault? Was I just a bad father?_ He loved both Rin and Yukio. He already knew the dangers Yukio was exposed to. Rin was supposed to be something the younger twin could lean on, someone who could help him see the better things in life.

Yet even Rin wasn't able to do that, so how the hell could he just expect of him to teach his brother?

To say the least, he doesn't know how it happened. He tried doing only the best for Rin, he gave him freedom, read him bedtime stories, cared for him like a father. He tried doing the same with Yukio too, and he succeeded. More or less. He didn't have Rin's freedom, but he had other things that made up for it; acknowledgment, _and_ it was really no secret he spent more time with the younger Okumura.

That was only because of the circumstances though, had it been any other way, the priest would have given both children the same care and childhood. Regardless, life was a cruel, cruel thing.

So that's why that's the exact reason Rin's next words pierced through his heart and snapped something inside of him.

" _Don't ever pretend to be my father ever again"_

 _ **Slap.**_

In only the next few seconds, the reverend was no longer the man who raised Rin. No. He was the man that haunted Rin in those dreams, but the problem was just that - because this wasn't just some dream. This was real. And it was all Rin's fault.

During the shock, all the half-demon heard was the crazed laughter coming from none other than the king of hell himself. Any effort he made to struggle was in vain. He screamed he yelled, he kicked, and he punched.

Quickly growing annoyed, the king of hell clawed at the boy's abdomen, leaving three fresh wounds. To say the least, they felt excruciating, even to Rin, the pain was agonizing. He clutched his stomach, in hopes to stop the bleeding, until another hit came, this time, aimed at his left leg.

The elder twin gasped, attempting to get away somehow as he curled in a fetal position. Weak and defenseless.

"Stop…" gasp "… it."

The crazed demon laughed, "When I'm done with you boy, you'll no longer be a mere bedwetter peeing his pants!"

Another hit. This time, it was directed to his right arm, it wasn't as noticeable as the others, but it was deeper, and therefore, more painful. Rin screamed, and screamed, even bursting into flames at one point.

He pleaded even, " _Please,_ " he lowered his gaze, unable to face his so-called father. "No more… I - I can't…" Even breathing had become difficult, every gasp he'd make in hopes retrieve some air ended up burning his lungs and insides. That's when he realized something, something he should have noticed earlier. Maybe even on the first attack.

In some ways, it was like those dreams he'd have when he slept. It was the same man, the difference was that those wounds would scar. Yet _these wounds_ didn't even heal. At least, not normally, in any case, the healing rate was slower than that of your average human.

Suddenly, Satan threw him in that Gate—which oddly reminded him of those pools made with plastic balls for kids—that just wouldn't let go of him. "Muahahaha, happy birthday! My beloved _son_!"

Slowly, in the first time in the past few years, Rin could feel tears threatening to spill, even as he gave one last gruesome call for help. "Today, you shall be reborn muahahaha — "

" _No_."

Immediately Rin recognized the voice.

"This boy is _my_ son, and I'm taking him back."

All too quickly, the sound of metal piercing through flesh echoed throughout the now silent room. A silent gasp coming out of the possessed man.

"N-no…" Rin's voice cracked in disbelief. "O-old man?"

It was like all noise had ceased to exist as he saw the limp figure, sinking into the Gehenna Gate. He lunged forward, attempting to reach the body he didn't dare believe dead.

" _ **Dad!"**_

* * *

Why?

Why did he have to be so weak? Why did everyone have to always come to his aid and protect him? Someone so useless and pathetic?

No matter how hard he tried to work on his own, there was nothing, absolutely nothing that he could do to protect himself. He was always forced to rely on others. He was weak, and he couldn't even be a better son. Now, someone, someone dear to him almost died because of his ignorance, and he never, ever wanted that to happen again. If anything, he'd be the one risking his life for someone else.

After all, he was a monster, and monsters don't deserve happy endings.

Right now, his father was lying in a hospital bed because he was in a coma, Yukio didn't want to talk to him, and everything was falling south. There was only one person Rin could turn to at this point. Reaching for his bag, he took out the cell phone given to him by the old man.

"Hello?" The voice on the other side was familiar, he'd recognize it any day. It just didn't help that, that _clown_ was standing right in front of him, alone, smirking as if he knew what would happen, and what did happen.

They both knew it was all his fault. Because he was incompetent.

And he was going to change that.

First, by working to achieve his goal; defeating Satan.

* * *

To Mephisto Pheles, everything was like a game of chess.

Rin Okumura was just another pawn in that game. A pawn, just like all his friends he—and his brother of course— would soon make.

The problem here was, in this timeline, things hadn't gone as originally planned. After all, the plan was for him to find out about his heritage today. Not eight years ago. Still, that was fine, he'd make it work somehow, he always did. In fact, this time, he seemed even more broken than all the others. He blamed himself, something he wouldn't admit before.

Smirking, he approached him, "My, my, such horrible weather outside, why would you be sitting in a park of all places? We wouldn't want you getting sick now, would we?"

Indeed it was raining, a lot. Yet the youngest son had nevertheless decided to swing on that one swing, now drenched from head to toe and practically shivering. It was practically self-punishment. Samael knew he wouldn't go that far though. After all, Shiro Fujimoto had _just_ saved him, almost killing himself in the process. Then again, who knows if he'd ever wake up?

Rin snorted, "Don't act like you care."

Sighing dramatically, Mephisto clutched his chest, "How rude! Why wouldn't I care about the well-being of my very own brother?"

"Half-brother." The twin corrected.

"Brothers all the same." He grinned. "Now, I'm sure you're well aware of the reason I'm here, yes?"

It was funny how Shiro told him that the phone held the number to a _trusted friend,_ because whether he thought about the demon as he is now, or a few years ago, the last thing that crossed his mind was for him to be someone you could actually trust. Not when he had such sinister eyes full of secrets, or that dangerous lopsided grin. However, if that didn't ring any bells in someone's head, then the mass of exorcist surrounding the place definitely did.

"The old man said you'd protect me. But that's not the case, is it?"

Twirling the umbrella in his hand Mephisto used to shield himself from the rain, he nodded, "Of course not! After all, I'm apart of the Knights of the True Cross. I can't just let personal allegiances sway my judgment."

Had it been any other situation the fifteen-year-old would have at least snorted at that, after all, who would think Mephisto of all people had some authority?

"You're the son of Satan," Samael drawled as if the sentence was just another one of his chores. "You're a threat. So, therefore, I must eliminate you. Immediately."

No. That can't be.

He wasn't even supposed to be here… Yet, now that he is…

The headmaster raised his middle and index finger, "You have two choices. It's either kill or be killed." Then his brows rose, feigning surprise as if he just got an idea. Or perhaps, he intentionally left this option as the last.

"Well, you could always kill yourself. You know, suicide. There are all sorts of weapons here, your own sword included."

The high-level exorcist raised their weapons, ready to battle.

Obviously, Rin wouldn't just end up taking his own life. Or maybe he would, but that's only _after_ he's accomplished his goal. After all, Shiro just saved him from the worst, he might die. He might never wake up. That meant the dark haired teen would never get to apologize. He didn't want that happening again, not now, not in fifty years, not ever. He'd become strong. So strong no one would have to protect him. No one would need to risk their own lives for his unworthy one.

He took a sharp breath.

"Let me join you!"

"Hah? Why would I do that now?"

The teen clenched his fists, "So I can become an exorcist! I want to get stronger and defeat myself against demons!"

Mephisto chuckled as he thought; _He never changes._

"So you're not scared?"

Rin snorted. The wounds Satan had given still felt fresh, the rain didn't help, either. It wasn't a question whether they'd scar or not. They would serve to him as a constant reminder of his mistake. "Should I be?"

The older man gave a devilish smirk, holding back a laugh "If you have any common sense of hierarchy, then yes, you really should." he paused for a split second, "After all, you know who I am, don't you?"

"Of course." the elder twin starred at the clown, determination shining in his eyes, "But then shouldn't you be the one scared of me?"

Mephisto raised a single brow, "And why is that?"

"Because _I'm_ going to be the one who kicks Satan's ass." the dark haired teen smirked, "In fact, I'll become the best exorcist you've ever laid your eyes on! Just you wait!"

This time, Mephisto was unable to contain himself as he burst, clutching his stomach, "Pftahahah, _you_? Defeating _father?_ "

Rin glared, "Oh hell yes. Just watch me."

"Hahaha, this is gold," he wiped a tear from the corner of his left eye, "Oh, just pure gold."

Moments passed, the half-human never losing his composure, staring at the demon defiantly. "So?"

"You amuse me." he grinned, ignoring any protest from the exorcist surrounding them. "Alright then, I personally welcome you at True Cross Academy."

Right. This was merely a game of chess, and as of this moment, Mephisto had all his pawns ready, the game only starting. Even now, he knew he wasn't going to lose. In fact, he couldn't lose. So it was decided. "You will be attending cram school as an exorcist in training."

The clown did nothing but watch the teen let out a relieved sigh. A smile on his face, one filled with content and happiness—or at least it seemed. Rin remembered his dad worrying whenever he felt down. Usually, when he gave a smile they'd leave it. However some days he wasn't so fortunate. They would stick to him like glue as if at any given moment, something horrible would happen and his life would turn upside down.

"Isn't it scary? Okumura-kun?"

Rin frowned, "What?"

"You know, all the things a smile can hide."

Without giving a response, the youngest son turned around in hopes to never have to face that question again.

Because they both knew the answer;

" _Very."_

* * *

 **I wanted to update on July 4th since it was Shima's birthday but that failed big time… Mostly because at first, I wanted to start the chapter at Shiro's funeral, but then decided I wanted to change a bunch of things from the original. Rin was also going to meet the other's at cram school this chapter but that would have made this wayyy too long. I wish I could have made it less similar to canon but… Idk, I tried my best with the meeting with Mephisto and Reiji but I'm not too sure how that turned out.**

 **I actually tried not making the scene with Satan too detailed, I added a few things but I dunno how that made it turn out qwq**

 **Also, a question for you all; are there any particular scenes you really want to see in the future? Both in and not in the manga. There's probably going to be a few I won't keep from the manga/anime so I just wanted to know if there are scenes you guys really like in particular?**

 **Word count: 5429**


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